9:00 p.m. (c)

I think Zuck or Sandberg could do a better job running the US

Or I could as POTUS

I'm actually a pretty good POTUS candidate

They're sad I'm not an American

Lee Kuan Yew coulda been a good first Chinese POTUS

Or Lee Hsien Loong

As they're good managers

It's not a total disaster

It's far better than this████████

Or even Singapore

But America could be so much more

They aren't solving massive problems they have

And

I'm creating a food department of my fantasy gov't

So we will run a food service

To ensure everyone's getting 2,000 calories minimum

And bring it up to 2,500