7:45 p.m.

I swear to g-d, one day, when I go to the UN, representing SL

I'm going to wear my raincoat without pfas on it

And then, I'm going to give a speech

The same exact one every year for 5 years of my presidency

***

Lehan Edirisinghe, UN speech:

1. There are a lot more important problems than Sri Lanka to worry about.

2. Well, we have to end apartheid for one.

3. And slow down the nuclear arms race, stop terrorism and world hunger.

4. We have to provide food and shelter for the homeless, and oppose racial discrimination and promote civil rights, while also promoting equal rights for women.

5. We have to encourage a return to traditional moral values.

6. Most importantly, we have to promote general social concern and less materialism in young people.