Story

11:30 AM තුළ January 17

…

Wed 15 Jan

7:30 a.m.

I experienced disturbed sleep. I woke up to a few bad flashbacks. This can happen. I was feeling depressed. It can happen. I'm feeling very negative about Sri Lanka. But I just remind myself I'm better off than virtually everyone. I have great opportunity, and I'm lucky.

Even if my█████████████broke my elbow. It healed perfectly. I understood his character. ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ It's just that I learned that's his character and I won't ever save him even if I can.

7:45 a.m.

I also had flashbacks related to how ████████████████ ████████████████.███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

8:00 a.m.

My feet are a bit scratchy. Previously it was my left foot. Now, the left foot stopped scratching, and the right foot became a bit scratchy. It's unlikely to be diabetes. But it could just be normal scratching. My cousin told me he suffers the same. It must be normal. I'll show a doctor or something.

I need to pay my phone bill today. I think as it's a bank holiday, I can see a GP or OPD.████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

8:30 a.m.

I think it must be hell elsewhere too. Singapore just has a quick justice system. I'm just very frustrated because people here aren't clever or demanding or have good values.

12:45 p.m.

I feel a lot better now. Jeez, haha flashbacks ruin my mood. I think when I wake up from nightmares or flashbacks or intrusive memories, I get very angry. I cool down after a bit. I'm positive. I did some great work. I'm looking to sell a very great product close to my heart in Sri Lanka.

1:45 p.m.

I have a headache and I think depression. I'm getting a lot of flashbacks today. I'm irritable. I feel like throwing up. I'm going to try do something. I'm watching Boardwalk Empire, but my attention is fragmented. I can't pay attention. I keep getting flashbacks.

███████████████████████████████████ I need the dopamine. This disastrous place has really gotten to me and harmed my health. It's so sad. █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

3:30 p.m.

I had some potato wedges. I spilled some tomato sauce on my t shirt. I'm watching Boardwalk Empire. I'll be okay. I'm doing better. I hate it when I get flashbacks and wake up. My life is a mess. I'll be okay. My head is hurting. I think it's just PTSD.

██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████. I washed the tomato sauce off as well as I could, then threw it in the laundry bin. I have such a bad headache. I'll just watch this Boardwalk Empire.

3:45 p.m.

I got a lot of flashbacks today. I dunno what to do. I need a therapist, but there's nobody here. I don't have any relief. I'll need money and then escape Sri Lanka and get help. I couldn't afford therapy in England. I'll need better therapists. I'm very frustrated in Sri Lanka. ████████████ I'm watching Boardwalk Empire and thinking of traumatic events.

5:15 p.m.

███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I hate it haha. It's the worst habit.

5:30 p.m.

██████████████████████████ I'm glad it's not substance abuse or alcoholism or drug addiction or anything. This is actually a pretty good problem to have. It's just imperfection. I can't have that. I have a serious headache today. I wonder how to get $10,000 to pay for this Dialog project. I need to do a POC as Sierra is unhappy to pay for this.

M█████████████████████████████broke my elbow on purpose. I keep getting flashbacks about it. ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

5:45 p.m.

I don't think my younger brother Milan is an evil jealous brother. He's a cool guy. He's innocent. My mum was banging his door to check where he was. █████████████████████████████████████. I love my precious younger little brother. I will help him become successful.

6:00 p.m.

███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I'm all about progress and good, correct things. I regretted smoking cigarettes and drinking with my cousins. I like smoking, but I know it's wrong, so, I never really want to do it. I'll just say I don't like it -- next time.

Or more accurately, I like it, but I don't do it because it's not good for me. G-d I love to burst the menthol bubble in the Dunhill switch and to take in that cold air into my lungs. I think I only smoke like 20 cigarettes, or 10 cigarettes per year. ███████████████████████████████████████████

I stole my family's Orange effervescent drink. I'm going to drink up my vitamin C drink soon. I love it. I love tasty drinks and my favourite alcoholic beverages.

6:45 p.m.

I want to go to Franklin's BBQ. One day, I'll go there. I don't know, i love BBQ. I don't understand why I'm not eating the foods i like every day. I only want to eat fried up potato wedges with homemade mayonnaise. I think mayo costs Rs 500, or Rs 200 to make at home.