Trying to Speed Up the Website While Dreading Jonathan's Visit

April 8, 2021

The day begins with anxiety about Jonathan seeing Sri Lanka's potholes, food, hospitals, and basic failures, then narrows into website work: load times, security checks, Google snippets, ugly header code, and the hope that small technical fixes can still make the site feel worthy of what it is trying to represent.

Story

8:30 a.m.

I spotted our Sri Lanka flag here in the Proms.

I wish I could have taken part in the Last Nights of the Proms, I know a lot of the songs.

I was too busy.

Jonathan is a very big guy, he knows all those big people, I feel scared of the guy --

and I am such a small guy, I do not know if I deserve such big people as friends.

If I got a Friend Request from Mark Zuckerberg or Eric Schmidt I would delete it because --

I know realistically, I am a honestly worthless, useless and meaninglessy small piece of s***.

I dunno, I am just being honest.

Sri Lanka is a very small $80b third world country.

I am scared of this August trip, Jonathan will see that there are potholes, there are problems.

I dunno.

Plus, the food is terrible, it is not a high standard--

there could be food poisoning from restaurants.

There are NO standards in Sri Lanka.

I am embarrassed.

Plus, I am not a good representative of SL.

I am not like 99% of Sri Lankans.

I do not follow these customs or traditions.

I did not know this guy was such a big guy.

I just wanted to learn some cool Kabbalah stuff.

I should be a bit more confident.

I am sure things could work out if I plan carefully.

Plus, we are getting along.

I do not need Zuck or Schmidt, I just need Jonathan.

Anthony Bourdain spotted many problems, nothing was rectified.

People here are careless, they lack basic empathy.

Nothing was corrected.

It was tragic.

I do not understand why people here are like that.

If I look at myself: I changed my firm's website 1,000 times, I self edit my writing 100s of times.

I cannot believe there are so many problems here.

Nothing is being fixed.

There is still no courts.

I cannot risk this guy getting sick in SL, there are terrifyingly poor hospitals.

My grandma was admitted for lung fibrosis (pulmonary fibrosis) and her most expensive room did not have any oxygen--

She was choking, gasping for air, suffocating--

She died painfully, in shock and in a sad way.

This guy, a friend on FB, Tharaka Kelumsiri, his dad was admitted to a hospital, he was wrongly chopped up and killed--

no justice.

If Jonathan is in SL, and he calls 911, police will not pick up the call.

There were rich people here, that billionaire from Denmark, 3 out of 4 of his kids got killed.

People here are incredibly careless.

They value nothing, it is like life is a joke to them all.

Story

10:15 a.m.

(b)

Some nice lady called Anusha, from Google, she helped write some custom code many years ago

We inserted it to our website's footer

Another Google guy from Philippines helped me config our mail box, so we can stay safe online

I love Google

I saw the code in the footer, I had written, "Anusha" in the end somewhere, I was feeling happy--

to recollect her support a long time ago.

There is a cookie in the header, for Google Analytics.

There is nothing in the body.

I saw, there is a way for me to manipulatively, change the type of code it is.

So, custom code snippets are sort of cookies.

The Google Analytics cookie is essential

You can choose marketing, functional and also another variant of cookie, in addition to essential.

You can claim something is essential.

***

I love these Jewish people, they have done like 99% of my entire life --

it is quite saddening though because everyone else has not contributed much in comparison.

I was thinking of them because Wix is Israeli --

I love our website so much --

they made it all happen.

***

I just checked, there are just the 4 cookie or custom code snippet types mentioned

The Google Analytics header is different from the footer cookie, I dunno

I think the footer one is a event cookie

The footer one must be a beacon that fires off

The header one, probably, umm

I dunno, it probably has something to do with Google

***

I am getting hungry.

This code snippet is ugly, I will remove it even if it works to improve our security score

සඟවා ඇත

10:15 a.m.

(c)

This hideous code snippet in the header, it does not work, I will remove it.

Wicked -- No One Mourns the Wicked:

https://youtu.be/h9CauXkzvZ4

"Take it away... Take it away!"

The results have improved for first byte load times

"Good news! Good news! She's fast! The Website is Faster!!"

Story

10:30 a.m.

The 17 score had improved to 40!!

Wicked -- No One Mourns the Wicked:

https://youtu.be/h9CauXkzvZ4

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[LOVER]

Have another xss, my dark eyed beauty

I've got one more night left here in town

So have another MITM of green elixir

And we'll have ourselves a little mixer

Have another little OWASP, little lady

And follow me down

[WIX]

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Story

11:00 a.m.

(b)

So, I could try to insert the code this guy adds, into this

but I am scared to do so, as I am not 100% sure.

It is better to not do it unless you know what you are doing--

it is not losing virginity sex, this is security.

I also sort of also want there to be a content security policy.

It is mostly for display only.

Hmm...

There is no info on YouTube on how to add this policy to a Wix website specifically.

So, that is a dead end.

I could bother the helpful Wix support team.

I saw, I have to pay $75 for my mailbox soon.

***

I better just sell lemonade or something to get some cash, I am a bootstrapping startup

It is good, for legal and legacy reasons --

I can always tell the taxman: "I did everything on my own, I am an entrepreneur, I started with nothing, nobody helped me, I was in debts bla bla bla"

I need to visit the tax office with Upali Dharmadasa who's legs were amputated --

in a pushbike or three wheeler

I heard my family was dodging taxes, so, Upali Uncle's dad H K Dharmadasa, Nawaloka Mudalali, went to speak with the tax authority, claimed, "Oh they are Sinhalese Buddhists, let them go".

They listened hehehe

Now, Jagath uncle has those Panama Bank accounts.

I will ask my mum for $75 for the mail box and $200 for the-- Wix * premium fee **.

Jeez, I am so corrupt.

I bet if I gave a speech at the UN, Hugo Chavez, he would not just say he smells sulphur in the air--

I would have my guys dressed in storm trooper outfits actually spray sulfur smell near the podium, after I leave after giving my speech at the UN

Before I walk up, they better play Imperial March

This guy had to give a speech at UN, he had to get whacked by Tony Soprano:

https://youtu.be/ZcQtUdZ5Afs

* Insert Dialogue *

There was a better speech, where the rat was being discussed, and his speech needs to be prevented

It was in Sosa's house.

This scene must be it!

https://youtu.be/dEpiUTaivyQ

Ahh f***, that is in a foreign language, this is right:

https://youtu.be/n6nqh_RwaPM

***

Okay, so, drawing attention to Wix:

I cannot change the code with confidence,

I should just be patient.

Anyway, it is just for display;

Our website is not used for banking ffs!

Story

11:30 a.m.

Whups, no UN speech!

https://youtu.be/sFFreUJNSxI

CUT TO

168 INSERT - INT. SOSA VILLA LIVING ROOM - DAY - VIDEOTAPE - 168

MATOS STUDY

A "Phil Donahue-type" setting. A segment now in progress with the "Donahue-type" interviewing Dr. Orlando Gutierrez.

Gutierrez is a young charismatic man, (Xl very well dressed and polished in a South American manner who exudes a sense of

enormous passion.

GUTIERREZ

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Story

10:00 p.m.

If I get killed, my friends should just forgive those who killed me, try to help them and move on.

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Maybe it is high stress talking.

I would Will Jacques and Jonathan takeover, try and make Sri Lanka just like California.

My family will help them, we control Buddhist authority and gambling --

We just need to update the education system.

***

Joke: I tell a lot of jokes, I like to make fun of myself, it is entertaining -- I never say I am joking.

I loved Lt. Col. Kilgore in Apocalypse Now, Robert Duvall, he was laughing at himself, he was enjoying himself -- I love to do it, people feel overjoyed.

Modern media in the US is a lot more provocative than what I write.

Or maybe not. I do not know.

Joke. This is not true. Joke: If I...

No, I cannot say it, it is offensive.

I am exhausted. Just burnt out.

I am watching Scent of a Woman (1992).

It looks amazing.

I like the scene, where Lt. Col. Al Pacino says, "do not call me Sir".

Chris Grocott, my political economic lecturer in university of Leicester, who met me a number of times--

he also taught me never to let anyone call me Sir, be human, allow people to be my equals, a friend

Chris would always walk to university, not even taking the bus, I saw him often --

I miss England, beautiful, pleasant land...

One time, I was walking down the street, saw a Sun newspaper on the pavement--

I will sleep after this.

I am thinking of Jonathan.

I want to learn more, help him with depression.

Dr Trevor Friedman freed me man, and I have a debt -- Jewish people are gifted, all the other doctors I met were f***ing r***rded

I can gift Jonathan a lot of money, then get him the top 10 best doctors in the world

In the process, I will learn, and use insights to save many and all of the unhappy people in SL

I believe I could be a hero one day, I could save a lot of people -- I can make this place like California or UK

5 matched names linked to the Names index.