Condensing the Website While Flashbacks Keep Breaking In
May 3, 2021
The day keeps returning to work: tightening website copy with Revising Prose methods, explaining cyber more simply, and pushing through a heavy schedule, even while flashbacks, justice talk, tech clips, and late-night curiosity keep interrupting it.
Tuesday, May 4th, 2021
12:15 a.m.
OH MY G-D!
STAR WARS DAY!!
This is the date we incorporated our firm:
I also want to try this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maple_liqueur
***
I like this song in The Flight Attendant S01 E06
A lot of Journey's Don't Stop Believing romantic, optimism and positivity vibes!
Dolly Parton -- Here You Come Again:
[Verse 1]
Here you come again
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12:45 a.m.
I love space
I also got this news update
http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20210502-the-unsolved-mystery-of-sri-lankas-stargate
***
People want to visit Sri Lanka
I cannot read this f***ing article as I do not have a subscription
C***s!
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I like this very relevant article:
https://kinsta.com/blog/google-pagespeed-insights/
I need to cut my fingernails.
Like a G-d damned f***ing troll
I am just angry, I will get over it and forgive ███████
1:15 a.m.
This PTSD is a real b***h!
I keep getting negative thoughts on ███████.
I will probably ████████████. I have a right to.
I will be very cautious, but still do it.
I cut my fingernails and toenails. So, now, I can pick my nose and my ears.
I am a bit like Joyce Carol Oates, I describe things that people do, that they never say --
So, people feel comfortable (counterintuitively) -- it is a big untapped, taboo iceberg market.
I always pick my nose.
I brushed my teeth. I bleed from my teeth a bit, every now and then.
I only use the dental floss once a week or fortnightly (every 2 weeks) or monthly.
There is a small redness in my face, above the (my side) left eyebrow, I am so self conscious--
I pressed it in, and then, it disappears, and then -- when I took my finger off, it appears again.
My white friends in the UK, their skin is white and pale, so I could see the blue colour veins --
and so, Pauline Weiss and also Alex and others, I did "an experiment", I pushed the vein --
just gently squeezed it, to see if the blood would clog up, like in a garden hose, and then, build up, and then burst up -- it did not happen.
But it is interesting. I dunno. I am a bit of a scientist. I really thought their veins would buildup and block.
Hmmm
I usually put skin moisturizer on my face when bad things happen, but now, I know--
the skin creams I have are so old, like 2 or 5 years old, so, it is probably expired--
though, it is not printed that these things have an expiration date at all.
1:30 a.m.
I filled my water bottle with cold water.
I keep my plastic water bottle on my red colour plastic chair "stool" next to my bed --
the cold water, it condenses or perspires or creates a small puddle of water on my red chair stool.
When I wake up, or when I reach out for my water bottle, it often drips water on me.
I have a small stubble beard now, I want to cut it off, I do not like beards.
My Gillette Series 7 machine razer is too precious, and also, I cannot get spare parts or the cleaning fluid --
So, I never use it. I use my razer blade by itself, because for months now, I could not find a good razer handle.
I have an extremely bad temper.
Like right now, my f***ing air conditioning is acting up, it is not really working -- and I am screaming --
I am screaming at that ████ ███ son of a █████ █████.
You need reliable people, █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
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There should be tier 1, tier 2, tier 3 people who do stuff, so, I can pick people who can do it.
I am quite happy with my anger, it could be complex PTSD, but it helps me feel safe
Anger is natural and healthy (though toxic) because it removes the f***ing c***s from my life
***
I really like space
I like JFK's work and speech and s***
Wix speeds :
https://www.wixseoexpert.com/post/tips-to-improve-wix-loading-speed
I will read this slowly
Apple vs Riot fight :
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-56959938
I do not use any Apple products or Riot products
Riot must be making that game -- Battle Royal or some s*** - I did not read that article, do not plan to
KGB guy:
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/apr/30/garry-kasparov-interview-chess-vladimir-putin-russia
I will skim through this
Steve jobs:
I use the Pixar pitch on our website
Bitching:
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/benhenry/reese-witherspoon-framing-britney-spears
Paris Hilton looks good with makeup, my mum also puts on a lot of makeup -- it looks like you can make a f***ing ape look good (fuckable) with makeup
Insights page Google:
https://kinsta.com/blog/google-pagespeed-insights/
This is some bs
Battery died
2:15 p.m.
Due to the PTSD, (or CPTSD), I feel like "I am under attack" -- the adrenaline is pumping
https://youtu.be/-tIBJwgYEG8?t=52
I am in flight or fight or fright (Lehan) or freeze (Babette Rothschild) and it is scary
It is like my mind is on auto pilot
There is supposed to be a reptilian auto pilot brain, a mammalian limbic and then a higher neocortex
It is quite scary though because I do not fully understand how or why or what is setting this off
In Singapore, I would experience tumultuous difficulties during exam periods, I would go to see Joshua (what Jesus was really called) Kua--
at the Raffles Hospital because I could not cope with the stress
Now, I must be going through that, but have not really got any help at hand.
But I am staying cool I should be okay. It could be this █████████████s air conditioning unit
Or whatever, ███████, who should never have invaded and tried to infiltrate and betray us
Even if I speak with ██████, I have a right to do so
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***
2:15 a.m. ng, I will make a big real life musical about ita
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