I Missed Mirtazapine, and the Day Became Halo and Old Ghosts

July 17, 2025

Taylor Swift lyric videos and Halo 3 clips ran all morning. A Legally Blonde quote capped a push to self-publish the diary A restless medication-miss day of Halo fantasies, music loops, judgment, and old names, where asking for help and choosing compassion became the most honest move

• subjects: woman with long hair, flowing blouse
• actions: turning head, hair blowing, arms raised
• context: YouTube interface, video title "Love Story (Taylor’s Version)", Taylor Swift channel, view count, date posted
• risks: none observed
• mood: dreamy, nostalgic, uplifting, ethereal

8:15 AM

Loving Taylor Swift’s Music on Thursday Morning

Thursday, 17th.

8:30 am

I love Taylor Swift's music.

- subjects: video game characters, HUD elements, weapons
- actions: character respawning, shooting, moving, displaying player names
- context: YouTube interface, gameplay footage, "Respawn in 3" text, "KING YOGI ACE" label, gaming environment
- risks: none apparent
- mood: competitive, energetic, casual

8:30 AM

Marissa, Ana, Halo 3 and Liking Girly Stuff

Marissa and Ana can be like, in my Halo 3 team

But the real reason why, I would always go on a girl's team is because they listen to Taylor Swift like me

And I like girly stuff, in general, for some reason

I like cooking, and baking cookies, and gossip

I guess, it's because I grew up with a single mom, Shanika

So I observed her, and became more like her lol

The image shows a screenshot from a YouTube video titled "So I 3rd wheeled a e-date in Halo 3" by a user named Tylenul. The video appears to be a gaming session, likely from the game Halo 3, featuring a scoreboard with two teams: Red Team and Blue Team.

**Subjects & Objects:**
- The scoreboard lists player names and scores.
- Red Team includes players like KING YOGI ACE, Tylenul, TheBabysNotMine, and Jules3358.
- Blue Team includes players like SaDmangoKinG, LordVigilant, and KingOGtate.

**Actions & Relationships:**
- The players are competing in a game, with scores displayed next to their names.

**Context & Text:**
- The visible text includes player names and scores, with Red Team leading.
- There are also subtitles that indicate someone is speaking, asking if someone wants to be on their team.

**Risks & Sensitivity:**
- No NSFW or violent content is present.

**Mood & Subtext:**
- The tone seems casual and playful, typical of gaming commentary. The lighting is digital and atmospheric, consistent with a video game setting.

8:30 AM (b)

Paintball, Taylor Swift and Rejecting Guy Stuff

I don't play sports or do "guy stuff"

Besides like, maybe paintball, and golf, and go karting

And actually racing cars

And politics, if it's a guy thing

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Very sedentary type of relaxed person

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***

We're going to have a regular paintball thing with my cabinet

I think it's my favorite sport

I just like it

I guess, there is no such thing as guy stuff or girl stuff

And girl music or guy music

Even Justin Trudeau, I saw him, listening to Taylor Swift music

Lots of guys like Taylor Swift music

Donald Trump likes her music 80%

***

Did you know, that her new album, Tortured Poets

It's got 4 songs I like

But daddy I love him

Florida, with some help from someone Pooja likes : florence

And if you read my diary, for real, you'd sort of understand why, I prefer to talk to girls, as it's sort of like, I dunno, "cool" for me

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I also like, 3 more songs on it, I guess, Florida, Casandra, Who's Afraid of Lil Ol Me, and a few more, but not really

The image captures a moment from a YouTube lyric video for the song "But Daddy I Love Him" by Taylor Swift. The video features a soft, monochromatic aesthetic, primarily in shades of gray and white, which lends a dreamy, nostalgic quality to the visuals.

In the foreground, there is a close-up of a woman with long, flowing hair, gently cascading over her shoulders. She appears to be lost in thought, her expression serene and contemplative. The delicate features of her face are highlighted, and she has a subtle smile, suggesting a mix of tenderness and introspection. She is dressed in a simple, elegant outfit that appears to be a light-colored dress, possibly with thin straps, which adds to the ethereal feel of the image.

In her hand, she holds a small flower, which she seems to be admiring. This detail enhances the overall softness of the scene and may symbolize innocence or love, aligning with the song's themes. The background is blurred, focusing attention on her and creating a sense of intimacy.

Above her, there is a text overlay that reads, "Too high a horse for a simple girl," which hints at the song's narrative and emotional depth. This phrase suggests themes of longing, aspiration, and perhaps the complexities of love, resonating with the song's title and likely its lyrical content.

The bottom of the image features the YouTube interface, indicating that this is a lyric video. The video has a play button, a progress bar showing that it is 36 seconds into a total length of 5 minutes and 44 seconds, and viewer engagement stats, including 162,000 likes. The channel name, "Taylor Swift," is prominently displayed, along with the subscriber count of 61.2 million, emphasizing her popularity and the reach of her music.

The overall tone of the image is soft and reflective, evoking feelings of nostalgia and romance. The combination of the visual elements, the serene expression of the woman, and the lyrical hint creates an atmosphere that invites viewers to connect emotionally with the song's themes. The aesthetic choices—monochromatic colors, gentle expressions, and delicate imagery—convey a sense of vulnerability and beauty, characteristic of Taylor Swift's artistic style.

In summary, this image encapsulates a moment of introspection and emotional depth, inviting viewers to engage with the song's narrative while showcasing the artistry of Taylor Swift.

8:30 AM (c)

A Favorite New Album Track and Venura’s AI Warning

This is my absolute favorite in her newest album!

Venura's taken some screen grab, and shared with his ai, chatgpt

Who has done some "spying" on me, and some "warning" on me

8:30 AM (d)

Disliking Sports but Liking Brisk Walking

I have played sports, I have played basketball, and go swimming, and cricket, and football, no not football football, i did soccer

I don't like those

I like brisk walking, and rigorously, vigorously something else that rhymes

The image is a lyric video for the song "But Daddy I Love Him" by Taylor Swift. It features a close-up of a woman with light brown hair, styled in soft waves, wearing a white dress with thin straps. She appears contemplative, with her head slightly tilted down and a delicate flower accessory in her hair.

The background is a muted, light color, enhancing the focus on her expression. Text overlays include lyrics from the song, such as "WE CAME BACK WHEN THE HEAT DIED DOWN" and "BUT FUCK 'EM. IT'S OVER." This text is arranged in a visually appealing manner, with varying font sizes and weights.

The overall mood is reflective and somewhat somber, indicated by the woman's expression and the color palette. There are no visible risks or sensitive content in the image. The composition emphasizes the emotional weight of the lyrics, creating a connection between the visual and the auditory experience.

8:30 AM (e)

Choosing Self-Publishing Over Being Prayed For

You ain't gotta pray for me!!!!

Me and my diary, are on this wild game

***

SELF PUBLISHING IS THE WAY TO GO!!!!

The image displays a screenshot of the Apple Music application on a computer. It features a list of songs primarily by Taylor Swift, organized in a table format. Each row includes details such as the song title, artist, genre, play count, file size, bit rate, date added, skips, and album name.

The visible song titles include "All Too Well (10 Minute Version)," "Cruel Summer," "Paris," and "But Daddy I Love Him," among others. The artist for all songs listed is Taylor Swift. The table also shows ratings, with some songs marked with five stars.

The interface is dark-themed, with a sidebar on the left for navigation, including sections like "Home," "Library," and "Store." The top bar displays the current song playing, which is "But Daddy I Love Him."

There are no visible risks or sensitive content in the image. The overall mood is neutral, focused on music organization and playback.

8:45 AM

Joking About Having His Baby and Explaining Taylor Swift Lyrics

I'm having his baby!!

No, I'm not

But you

Should see your faces

But ████████████████████████████████████

He █████████████████████████

***

I love her music

These are the songs I listen to still

I can like, give her a big ol donation, or something

Or free ads or something which is the most heartfelt gift

How about writing Sri Lanka's future?

Or our policies and stuff, Taylor?

Your spirit, kind of made me

Your Christian spirit which hasn't been lost

I don't know why I shared those lyrics

Or why I am constantly singing it

Like again and again

I think it's about my socially liberal stance maybe

I'm whatever Taylor Swift is

But a Trump voter!

Whatever else socially

I think it's about societal viewpoints on women

How, they expect a woman to be a bride

Or some one night stand

As she pointed out before

But really, it's about it's her life

And she's free to do what she wants

And live her one God given life the best she can

I could have played it, for when I read Anne Frank

However, I then played Pappa Don't Preach

By Madonna, a couple years ago

The image shows a gameplay video from a YouTube channel titled "NO-AB," featuring a scene from the game "Halo 2."

**Subjects & Objects:**
- The main subject is a character in armor, likely representing the game's protagonist, Master Chief. The character is holding a weapon, possibly a plasma rifle, and has a glowing energy shield.

**Actions & Relationships:**
- The character appears to be engaged in combat, aiming the weapon as if preparing to shoot. The energy shield is active, indicating defensive readiness.

**Context & Text:**
- The video is at the 2:39 mark of a 12:50 minute gameplay session. The screen displays a health bar and other HUD elements typical of video games. The channel has 633 subscribers.

**Risks & Sensitivity:**
- The content depicts video game violence, which is typical for action games, but there are no explicit or graphic elements.

**Mood & Subtext:**
- The tone is intense and action-oriented, with a focus on gameplay dynamics. The lighting is dim, typical of a combat scenario in a sci-fi setting.

8:45 AM (b)

Playing Swords Only on Lockout With Chathula, Chadu and Milan

Chathula, Chadu, me and my younger brother Milan, we were playing Swords Only on Lockout, multiplayer

And I think, it's all about, who hits first

But it can clash, and then you have to spam the melee button

The image displays a screenshot from a YouTube video titled "OGRE 1, 41-0 Gameplay," featuring gameplay footage from a first-person shooter, likely "Halo 2." The screen shows a player's perspective, with a focus on the player's hands holding a weapon, possibly a shotgun, as indicated by the shape and design.

In the background, there is a wall with a light-colored texture, possibly concrete, and some blue interface elements indicating game status or objectives. Text on the screen includes "Not enough ammo," suggesting the player is low on ammunition. The video is at the 2:37 mark of a 12:50 duration, indicating a moment in the gameplay.

The overall tone appears competitive, showcasing skill and strategy in the game. There are no identifiable public figures or sensitive content present. The composition emphasizes action and engagement typical of gaming content, with no explicit gestures or emotions displayed.

8:45 AM (c)

Learning New Words From Taylor Swift and Following Your Heart

God save the most judgmental creeps████████████████████████████████████

Sanctimoniously ██████████ soliloquies I'll never see

██████████████████████ the beat of my heart ██████████████████

██████████████████chemistry. And ████████ destiny.

I am learning a lot of new English words from Taylor Swift!

It's about social pressure

And how you have to do what you believe in

Like how Elon married that woman he saw

Who said it was "love"

You'll be alright, follow your heart

8:45 AM (d)

Taylor Swift, AI Training and Suspected Surveillance

Say you'll remember me

Standing in a nice dress

Staring at the sunset

***

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11:00 AM

Remembering Marissa Mayer and Anastasia Marchenkova Through Music

I remember Marissa Mayer and Anastasia Marchenkova when I hear this

But not Pauline, because her hair darkened, and she Weiss'nd up

The image shows a scene from a YouTube Shorts video featuring a woman with blonde hair styled in soft waves. She has a surprised or assertive expression, with wide eyes and slightly parted lips, conveying a sense of confidence or indignation. She is wearing a light-colored top and a pearl necklace, which adds a touch of elegance to her appearance.

The text overlay reads, "you picked the wrong girl," suggesting a moment of confrontation or empowerment. The video is tagged with #legallyblonde, indicating it is related to the film "Legally Blonde," which stars Reese Witherspoon as the character Elle Woods. The branding for Peacock is visible, suggesting the content may be affiliated with that streaming service.

The tone appears to be assertive and defiant, reflecting the character's strength. The composition emphasizes her facial expression, drawing the viewer's attention to her emotional state. There are no explicit or controversial elements in the image, but the context of the quote may resonate with themes of empowerment and challenging stereotypes.

11:00 AM (b)

Resistance Lyrics and Fair Use Commentary

If you're trying to turn me into someone else

It's easy to see I'm not down with that

I'm not nobody's fool

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If you wanna bring me down

Go ahead ███████

Go █████████████

I am providing commentary here because I have to

I just need to defend against DMCA hits

And fair use under copyright law

It requires some commentary or other I dunno what

I am not a very good lawyer

I am an ILLEGALLY BLONDE type

But if you wanna bring me down

Go ahead and try..

Yeah you go on and try it...

The image features a bowl of cereal, specifically a type of O-shaped breakfast cereal, submerged in milk. The bowl is white and is placed on a wooden table, which has a warm, natural finish. A silver spoon rests in the bowl, partially submerged among the cereal pieces.

Above the bowl, there is text that reads "I'M NOT" in a playful, pink font, suggesting a humorous or lighthearted tone. The text's placement indicates that it might be a response to a common question or assumption, possibly about the cereal itself or breakfast choices.

There are no identifiable people, actions, or gestures in the image. The focus is entirely on the cereal and the text. The overall mood seems casual and whimsical, likely intended to evoke a smile or chuckle from viewers. There are no explicit, controversial, or sensitive content elements present in the image.

11:15 AM

Ana Marchenkova, Wharton Books and Quantum Computing

Ana isn't the milk n cheerios in your spoon!

She's not as simple as, "here we go, " not so soon

***

I read the same Wharton MBA books as her

But

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Over here, I reminisce over Ana Marchenkova

A beautiful blonde girl who is into Quantum Computing

Or very smart people stuff

Who once upon a time showed up on my FB

She also likes that song

I think I see her, or Marissa, cause they're super smart

11:15 AM (b)

Mirtazapine, Fewer Flashbacks and a Removed Camera

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I think since, Jan 25, when Jacques removed the ██████ in my room

I have seen a big improvement

I think, my mind, and eyes, must've detected it, for some time, triggering like██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

But not so strangely, when the mental anchor was removed, as he's / Jax is a good sailor, I wasn't really rewinding every waking moment