Bill Hader Exhibit + Work Drift: Sunday Moved Sideways

மார்ச் 29, 2020 Lehan Edirisinghe

Bill Hader clips, drifting work, emails, an annoying sales interruption, and Queen songs made the day feel sideways rather than decisive, with me stuck between routine admin and private aggression.

Joking That Space Explains the Silence

I'm surprised by the silence, but then again, the vacuum of space may have played a part

Trusting God After Surviving Greater Adversities

G-d has delivered us from far greater adversities.

Correcting a False Seylan Claim and Choosing Rehabilitation Over Despair

Sun 29 Mar

11:15 a.m.

I'm doing work. I had a good breakfast with my mum. I don't like peanut butter and toast anymore. I think I get put off eating the same things again and again over and over again.

2:15 p.m.

I wonder what's there for lunch. I spoke with Ruchira De Silva. People are working hard to support us.

4:45 p.m.

I had a chat with Hasindu Maddumage at Seylan Bank. Apparently, we named Seylan Bank as a customer on our website, we spoke with them, but we didn't sign any deals or agreements with them. So, it's misleading and I need to take it down.

It's a good thing this happened. I gotta always make decisions and when something like this is done, I need to accept and correct it. If this guy hadn't done this, it would've grown into a big problem as it's not true.

6:30 p.m.

I feel a lot better after making these corrections on our website using my cousin Puthula akki's laptop.

9:30 p.m.

███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ It's really saddening for me personally when I can't stop something like that despite my will.

I think instead of getting depressed, I should plan ahead and I know that just 1 month in a rehabilitation program is enough to break my ████ addiction for good. I hate it. I hate myself. I can't believe something has power over me.

10:30 p.m.

Jeez, I sound so much like Ted Bundy with my whole ████ this, ████ that talk. ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I dunno. I think it could be stress. I'm writing two important emails, it must be stressing me out. Stress makes flashbacks more common.

I think it's very tough to be me. Everyone else is normal and happy. In my case, it's always just flashbacks when under stress. These tough times are probably stressing me out too.

██████████████████████████████ I should be okay. I'm grateful. I'll try to be cool. Nothing's wrong. Things seem to be going well. I'll just move forward happily.

I think I'm just as a character very distrustful of people and I worry my email might not be well received, but I'll work on it carefully. I'm so tired. I work on Sundays lol.

11:00 p.m.

I'm calling it a night.