Diet Friction, Defense Curiosity, and Farrokh Loops on Sunday

ஏப்ரல் 19, 2020

The day moved through diet friction, defence curiosity, Farrokh loops, porn frustration, and a deep argument with Christianity itself, where appetite, doctrine, and self-repair kept fighting for control.

10:30 AM

Porn Addiction, Questioning Christianity and Hoping for Salvation

Sun 19 Apr

10:15 a.m.

I think I like yoghurt for breakfast. I don't think the Sri Lankan food diet works for me. It's just not for me. I'm reading Chris Knight's book. ███████████████████████████████████

█████████████████████████ I believe I'll recover with rehabilitation. The reason I can't do it myself is because of how it's related to complex PTSD.

11:00 a.m.

I was predicting problems. That's one of my most important jobs. I predict problems and come up with creative solutions to deal with those problems before they get out of control.

I want Passionfruit Greek Yogurt and Honey Granola with tropical fruits and walnuts and pecans for breakfast. It's the kind of stuff I can eat easily. I struggle with hard solid foods. It's tough for me to chew.

7:45 p.m.

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I was reading Joshua again, the guy was a complete psycho. Bugger went on a murdering and pillaging spree. He killed everyone in Jericho. I don't know if the G-d Yahweh is real, or good, or worth following. Christianity seems evil.

It's tough. My fear is that it's still evil and therefore I will pay one day, maybe in another life. But i don't believe that. I have to read more about Buddhism and learn more by studying old scriptures. There's a lot of wisdom contained in the Tripitaka.

I don't know. I think maybe. Maybe Jesus was the son of G-d. Maybe he was special. It's good to be part of 2bn people. It's good to be in a cult. If I was in Japan, I'd join the Yakuza. If I was Chinese, I'd join the Triads. I'm a mason, I'd join the Knights Templar. I want to be a part of something and do business.

9:15 p.m.

I hope I'm okay. I'm sure Jesus is real. He must be. Buddhism is a great religion too. I'm mostly a Buddhist, but I hope that Jesus was the son of G-d. I have faith. I hope to be saved.

9:30 p.m.

Jesus Christ will trans figure me. My sins will be taken away from me and in doing, I will ascend to God hood. I will be free of sin totally and be perfect like Jesus. I think my only sin is using ████. After I win, I'll be immortalised.

10:15 p.m.

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10:30 p.m.

I have to go and tell someone like Thilanga uncle "I was the only one who was there for you".. hee hee he he hehe ha ha haha hahaha hahahahaha...

7:30 PM