The Complexity of Identity: Navigating Family Ties

பிப்ரவரி 24, 2021

As I grapple with my identity amidst family turmoil, I seek to understand the deeper connections that bind us together.

12:15 AM

Thursday, February 25th, 2021

12:00 a.m.

I am feeling pretty tired today. I am deeply disappointed by the situation in Sri Lanka. Terrible.

Anyway, I am sleepy today. I looked at some boring ███████████ in the morning of ████████████████████████████, it was terribly boring.

In the afternoon I watched The First Purge. I ate my Peanut Butter and strawberry Jelly Sandwich or P&J sandwich. Then halfway through the movie I got bored.

So, I played chess. I played a lot of games of chess. I saw an Iraqi player, so i spoke to him over WhatsApp. He is 20 years old, i feel bad for their people.

I did not buy Halliburton shares. Whatever. F*** it!

My mother seems really weird. She must be ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

She did not give me my dinner money but claimed I could buy McDonald's "if I was hungry". She commented I had eaten 2 sandwiches.

Oh but, that is where things get interesting..

I bought a Rs 190 loaf of bread. It is 400 g. It has about 10 or 15 slices of bread. I made 2 sandwiches today, 3 sandwiches yesterday, I used the peanut butter and I used the jelly, I can use the peanut butter and jelly again and again.

But she wanted me to buy McDonald's, and then, I would have used up Rs 1,500.

I saved the money.

In UK, I saved the money, I bought a TV.

Milan bought █████, he saw I had a TV, so he was jealous, then he bought a TV later, he constantly compares himself, but I have already killed his name.

Later today, I will publish his written confession.

See, I am not playing games with these guys, at some point,██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Tomorrow, I will demand the Rs 1,500 for the McDonald's.

I will keep grabbing the money.

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This Ashok Pathirage guy, he is a real ██████████████

This ██████████████ in Sampath Bank, who cares, they can be investigated for corruption tomorrow and then be thrown in jail--they all can.

It is just Gotabaya Rajapaksa does not want that, and so, we cannot do it.

If Gotabaya wants, Gotabaya shall get.

We have to play along, we have to just cooperate with these guys.

I am looking forward to trying again with Thilanga uncle on the customers, it is just a matter of getting the first deal, once it happens, it is enough.

If we can somehow figure out a way to help Gotabaya see that destroying people for breaking the law, it is going to establish his credibility, it is good.

But something tells me, it will be a 1 term presidency. There will be a new government next time, because the people are angrily complaining that nothing is happening, people are selling the country and they are let down by Gotabaya Rajapaksa.

12:15 a.m.

I am feeling pretty sleepy today. I hope I was not sedated.███████████████████████████. I wish I was not born here. I cannot believe I was not in America.

This ███████ is going to pay for this, already, people, the 2,800 ETI Finance victims, they are holding pictures of him, and his family, when protesting, it is only a matter of time.....

12:15 a.m.

(b)

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12:30 a.m.

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Navin Marapana told me not to bribe, so, if he has any plans to end it, I will help him.

Doing crooked things, it is a wrong path.

You can pay people properly too.

The reason people do things corrupt and crooked is because people are not paid properly in Sri Lanka.

You gotta pay people international rates, have a plan, bla bla bla

But that is a President level decision, that is the problem, Navin Marapana and sadly, Lehan Edirisinghe, is not the President

We have to play along crooked

I do not know

Playing crooked allows for super profits and market control as well

There is an advantage

I am going to brush my teeth soon

I was looking through Uber Eats, there is no good raspberry jam

I was sad

I have to start making some good beef patties for a nice homemade burger

I think McDonald's is stealing money practically

It must cost Rs 20 for cheese, Rs 20 for the bread, Rs 30 for the beef patties, Rs 10 for the sauce and lettuce, and they wrap the f***ing thing up, made for COGS Rs 80, and they charge me Rs 1,500 for it.

It is crazy.

Absurd.

Worse than me!

I will need to try to get this stingy guy District Grand Master Ferhad Jamshed Nilgiriya to speak to his fellow Parsi Aban Pestonjee and get a McDonald's discount for me and to start serving decent McDonald's for the Festive Board.

He can get the "Parsi Discount".

I have never seen an unhappy person at a McDonald's, or a KFC or a Pizza Hut or Domino's

It is disgusting, when he dies, he can fall down to his Zoroastrian hell and eat all the spoiling rotten food he wants for the rest of his existence.

When I realised, these people like their terrible SL food, so much, I think my attendance dropped to 0.

12:45 a.m.

I was thinking of plans to get some extra levels of security, I will be okay. I have a very clever plan heeheehee *wicked, evil crook chuckle laughter, snicker*

Who cares, this guy in Sampath Bank, it is not a big deal, plus they are Sinhalese, and they did not do any serious damage to me, unlike Lal, it is better not to do anything bad to them.

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We should give Yoshitha Rajapaksa the advanced drip irrigation project for the whole of SL. He is a good man. I love Yoshitha the most now..

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He should have given some excuse and done it. Bibi is a moron. He should have gotten it done. Bush did a better job,█████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

1:00 a.m.

The way Trump made a big deal about the election being rigged, he should have██████████████. Now this old guy Biden "who is shot" according to Trump, he will probably die on the job...

Trump will win the next election. Hopefully. ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Bibi told Tamir to go █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

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I am getting sleepy now. I should eat some more bread with marmite and margarine, do 5 minutes on the elliptical machine and sleep. I have nothing to complain about at all.

I think people will pay money to buy what I write to read. If I charge $1, and 100 people buy it, that is a $100 bucks. Plus, I am sure, 10,000 people will want to buy what i write. Everyone is obsessed by myself.

Having a paperback that is signed by Lehan Edirisinghe is worth paying $10 dollars for. I should just print this stuff.

1:15 AM

1:15 a.m.

There is a mosquito outside my mosquito net. I see it. ██████████████████████████████████████████████████

I lost this book which had 1,000s of big English words. It is somewhere in my laptop, I have 20,000 plus books on my laptop, it somewhere there.

I will always let people read my work for free and give them a chance to buy a book printed by Sumathi Printers.

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I was typing an email to Soper in the morning, I thought of this scene where Lasantha Wickrematunge's house got shot up by Dhammika Amarasinghe and the T56 under orders from the boss!

Apparently:

My uncle Thilanga Sumathipala!!!

https://youtu.be/YXfzZsdR8zc

Hahaha

It is entertaining.

Soper and these white guys have lost their edge, they are no longer as clever as they used to be, they have been pushed aside, the Chinese are now a lot more focused and better.

Working with people, cooperating, understanding, working with people willing, it is good for business, being a little b***h, making a fuss, it is foolish, this is why I believe I will always do better in the long run.

Soper's company just makes $40m, which is peanuts!

I cannot believe Soper made such a big deal about it, gave me a hard time, "was busting my balls" about it.

We do not need them.

I do think it was staged. It was all staged. I heard they were actually friends and pretending.

I think I will eventually get very famous. I should do this for entertainment but not really do any bad things directly.

What is the point?

If you can do things bad or do things good, it is better to do the correct things. Doing evil is unnecessary.

G-d punishes the wicked.

This is the only real problem.

Yesterday, I was eating my lamb meat soup which I love.

* The Following is a Joke *

I was thinking * gee i really like these Muslims. If not for them, I would not enjoy lamb meat. I must keep the Muslims in Sri Lanka as well.

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1:30 a.m.

I also thought, * I do not like Buddhism because I like my lamb meat soup and I do not want to be reincarnated.

But then, I understood only the person actually killing the animal will be punished and also*

F***.

Not this s*** again!

I am not a Buddhist!

Now I am reformed Jewish all of a sudden.

Or Christian. Protestant.

I am somewhere there and also Buddhist.

I feel terrible about killing animals but I love the taste of meat.

This is a big problem for me.

Hmm....

I was asked by Chandrasiri uncle to help him with his prawn factory, but it is bad karma, I am scared.

See, I will be okay to say they do not actually kill the prawns.

But passing the buck is bullshit.

I guess it is a cruel world, karma must happen as the Hindus say.

In the future w-

I was thinking of this hallway through The First Purge movie.

In the future we can lab grow meat.

I can tell people to kill but I can never do it myself, I cannot accept the bad karma, it is a curse.

I look at it like this, I will ask Jacques to do the bad deed of telling people to kill animals for food because he is Jewish and then he said it so G-d will punish Jacques and not me.

But because I told him, G-d will punish me also...

Hmm..

Tricky.

It is a messed up world.

You can say you must kill many animals to make plant based food too.

Ta Da!

Killing a cow gives you more meat than a few chickens, and also, it hurts the chickens a lot more to be killed repeatedly than one cow.

I hope we can kill the cows less painfully. I hope there is a less painful way..

I have heard it said, happiness can be measured by the smallest of improvements, so making it easier to die for animals is worth it all.

1:45 a.m.

I am sleepy now. I should go to sleep soon. I am so tired. My brain hurts like Elon Musk from thinking so much.

If can figure out a way to painlessly put the cow to sleep, then kill it absolutely painlessly as it is asleep, that is perfect. With technology, we can find a way.