I guess I can work on the website again

I need to get cash to make a cash-on-delivery payment to these people, so tomorrow morning I'll go to the bank

I was planning to do it today,

I woke up feeling fine on ███████████████████

It's a powerful antidepressant

Every 15mg increment feels like a big change

At 30mg, it wasn't enough to reduce █████████████████

I notice I'm acting █████████

Suicide is often associated with ███████████████████

***

At 45mg, I feel much more positive

***

I do think of Pauline a lot, I like her

I'm sure she is flattered by the effort

I think I can continue to pursue her

Which feels like how it should be

But I want to do it in a sensible way too

***

I will not hurt or demean anyone, out of respect for her

Even if circumstances change, such as with Trump in power

***

Maybe behind a paywall

***

I know that sensational content tends to attract attention

***

I'm sounding more masculine again; maybe my testosterone has risen. I feel much safer psychologically. Not everyone understands it, but our eyes and visual responses are shaped over long periods of evolution. When the gaze meets something like a camera, the mind can recall a lot. Now that the camera is gone, things have likely improved for me. I feel stronger, more confident, and safer.

I think I no longer need to be insecure. I'm quite hurt that Pauline is gone. But this is a common element in relationships. It's a test to see whether you truly love someone, or will hold on to them.