A Regret-Heavy Dream Followed Me All Friday and Wouldn't Let Go

February 7, 2020

A bad dream and old resentments stayed with me through the day, while I kept trying to steady myself with calls, plans, and the hope that one or two business openings might still break my way.

10:45 AM

Fri 7 Feb

10:45 a.m.

It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.. I had a strange dream where I realized I'd regret and be very sad ████████████████████████ for cracking my elbow bone, which healed.

I also regretted fighting or making mistakes selling Sepio Systems, I made mistakes with how I presented them in the market. They cheated me. But I should've been more cautious. I learned from it. It was a good lesson early on in my career.

I shouldn't have called Yossi Appleboum up and asked him to do the POC for free. Bentsi Ben Atar got angry because he just wanted $5,000 bucks for it. Greg Poch said he can do it for free. It was really sad. I don't believe they'll last long without integrity.

I think Sepio Systems was recommended by enterprise customers to use Connex Information Technologies as a distributor. Suresh Wijesinghe is new. Greg Poch warned me it would happen as Sepio Systems got a "new distributor", or I presume, a Singapore distributor such as Connex IT.

I do care, but I have thick skin. These things happen. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

11:00 a.m.

I don't believe business is business. This is because when hiring ██████████████████████, I saw he was more committed and loyal than ██████████████████ who lacked integrity -- I fired ██████ -- she was very emotional and very sad I did it to punish her for not doing a transcript which even █████████ didn't deliver.

████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

How do I know what he's doing? Why can't people just be honest with the team leader? Why hide which customers you approach? I just couldn't tolerate it. Business is business. Integrity is number 1, then it's how committed you are, then intellectual capacity and then leadership skills.

In the end, what I believe is that I have via my family ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ It's just Year 2, in July it's Year 3. We have months. I can go a lot further than Connex IT, who are just 5 years old. They'll hit a glass ceiling which won't apply to us.

Even Sumathi Information Technologies, I don't believe their CEO is that bright. The Just In Time Group CEO will always be Jit Warnakulasuriya, he's smart. But these are people I can work with. SIT is smart as Connex. I dunno. It's hard to judge. But South Asian Technologies is below them.

11:15 a.m.

I'll probably word it very carefully so it's honest and can hold up in court in case there's a lawsuit. I have a lot of evidence as all communications were via email and WhatsApp, which was recorded. I demand written business correspondence so people can't bullshit me. I can get Muslim votes.

I think it's justice. Nobody should be allowed to lie, betray and steal money. That's just got to destroy your reputation and end things for you. Unless you get a new name and identity. Also, I'll get all the Catholic votes too. I'll just word it carefully as though it was a "misunderstanding".

Maybe those pieces of silver Bentsi ben Atar, the Judas Iscariot, got for betraying me was because he believed he was doing the right thing. Cheap people like him probably thought it was correct to sell us out. They're anyway living in a movie all the time, so, it figures.

11:30 a.m.

I'm actually quite happy. It'll make a really great story. I just need to write it very carefully to dramatize it, come up with good explanations and a good conclusion. I'm sure I can do it. Today, I'll work on SIERRA.

11:45 a.m.

I WhatsApp messaged Thulan Amarasinghe asking if they've had a chance to set up a folder for us to transfer a sample pen test report into, for them to have a look at how we do reporting. It's 45mb and about 260 pages long. The Dialog IT Department has to set it up.

12:45 p.m.

I'm getting Taco Bell for me and my mum. I got a beef classic burrito and she got a chicken chalupa. I'm just waiting on Thulan Amarasinghe to create a folder on DropBox for us to share a pen testing report sample with them.

1:00 p.m.

Actually, I just don't want justice if it means antisemitism. I'm scared, they're a vulnerable minority. I don't want people to use my name to attack Jews. I'll just say things as if it was a misunderstanding. I don't like punitive justice, I like restorative justice. Better to edit it carefully, and say it's a misunderstanding to protect innocent people.

1:30 p.m.

I'll never try a California Ghost Reaper Pepper because:

(a) I'm not stupid

(b) Charles Darwin's Natural Selection (or evolution*)

(d) Masonic Bro Shaquille O'neal couldn't do it

(e) I can't even eat spicy food or Fire Sauce by Taco Bell or Nando's or Sri Lankan food

1:45 p.m.

2:15 p.m.

I'm waiting on Thulan Amarasinghe to respond or create a folder for us to place a sample pen test report into at Dialog. I'm not exactly worried, I'm slightly annoyed, but I mean, different people have different ways of doing things. Not everyone is like me: good communication, timely and effective. Most people are slow, obscure and upset.

2:30 p.m.

Although, without being a MP first, I'm likely to run for President directly one day. I'll most likely go after the defence ministry, the finance ministry and justice ministry. Or just appoint a clever law minister to make things happen in a timely manner. It's a ridiculous joke how slow Sri Lanka is and ineffective people are -- I can't believe I'm the only one who's complaining.

3:30 p.m.

I'm watching The Apprentice season 1 season finale. I love it. I blocked Hannah Pickering, I was upset she told me to talk to Bhanuka Harishchandra at Surge Global and that conversation didn't go well. I can't accept friends if they're going to put me in trouble. I don't want any b***h friends.

12:45 PM

Sir, we're happy to hire people you send to us at Cyberspace Command

1:45 PM

Fri 7 Feb

1:45 p.m.

Exhibit 8. ████████Snoop Dogg talks about how bad new music is

https://youtu.be/g0OdmRtuQew

2:15 PM

Maybe they'll find the seeds to the Tree of Life and Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Arc of the Covenant or Holy Grail...!‼️

3:15 PM

Remembering Lee Kuan Yew's words: integrity, be committed, intellectual capacity and leadership skills. Being committed is key. Everyone who achieved anything had to face setbacks, obstacles and challenges--you can't ever give up. Even McKinsey rejected their 3 time Managing Partner Rajat Gupta, he had to get his professor to write a letter of recommendation. This man's a great lesson in persistence, thank you for sharing, Madam.

7:15 PM

Fri 7 Feb

7:00 p.m.

████████████████. I remember vividly in my biology tuition class with Miss Shalini Dias, she said█████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ But I disagreed and told her██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████She wasn't pleased I disagreed with her. She got me an A for O Level Biology although I never went to school, I had like 10% attendance (I failed A Level Biology), and Mrs Sarah Nazeem got me high grades and a B in A Levels.

They were gifted teachers because I didn't go to school. I bet if I went to school, I would've done a bit better, maybe, hehe lol. I don't know, I think my story, G-d had to tell. I'm Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates dropping out of Harvard -- my story will give hope to and inspire many, many innocent people. I didn't attend my lessons, but I didn't miss the lesson. This is something I'm really proud of. I also never really got the fluoride hit -- I never became a brick in the wall.

I WhatsApped Srinath Wijayakumara who's trying to support our work with Dialog. Thulan Amarasinghe isn't the most cooperative or friendly or most effective communicator I know. But he's doing something. In Dialog, emailing Dr Hans Wijayasuriya is akin to nuclear bombing them in sales. We can do it, and everyone knows we can and have and will. We just want to do things clean -- as much as they'll have it.

7:15 p.m.

It could be stress. I'm happy this time many otherwise familiar flashbacks surrounding the war weren't big issues for me. █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

8:15 p.m. Fri

I had a quick shower. I'm drying off. Then I'll do my 5 minutes of elliptical machine running and then watch a bit of The Apprentice season 2 and go to sleep.

Billions TV show is more clever and intelligent, but it's interesting to see reality in The Apprentice and also mostly to watch how the winner won.

Trump is my hero.

I'm getting hungry. I'll need dinner. I often miss breakfast. I also ran out of Mirtazapine.

8:45 p.m.

I had Great Wall restaurant soup and Mee Goreng* noodles which is also a tad bit too spicy for me. The security, Weerasinghe got me a week's supply of Mirtazapine. I'm going to do my elliptical machine jog and then watch The Apprentice and go to sleep.

7:45 PM

Fri 7 Feb

7:45 p.m.

Exhibit 9. Rochalie Drive

Location, location, location...

I want to buy this S$30mn house at Rochalie Drive. It's right near the prime minister's house. My annual turnover is expected to be $100mn in 2020. Obviously, I'll reinvest in my business and focus on making more money--but I'll really love to buy a 99 year lease house in Singapore next to Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong's house.

Martinn uncle does a "great business" and has a huge house in Singapore--which he never invited me to🤭. But I'm sure he can help make arrangements to buy a good house around here; as this one already sold or went off the market. I know Steve Wozniak or some other tech billionaire has a house in Singapore as an alternative location. I think under the high net worth individual passport scheme, I skip national service compulsory draft conscription, and also, as I'm looking to get military passports to several countries for cyber security, defence and diplomacy, I should get priority.

The thing is, even if Gota is my friend, only a few people are clever enough for me to discuss real business with. Business is my religion. I need people who believe in my religion to do business with. I need capable people who take things seriously. I'll only get into trouble in Sri Lanka. I need Singaporeans to chat about business with. I want people with global mindsets to talk business with, not frogs stuck in a well.