Leap day ended quietly with a long office day, weak but persistent hope, British TV, porn shame, sedation, and the feeling that I was more tired and more emotional than I wanted to admit.
A faith-tinged dream opened the day, then it gave way to office calls, porn relapse, British TV, rape-case disgust, and the way food and memory kept trying to soften a pretty bleak emotional state.
The watch errands mattered more than they should have, and the day became a mix of liquor-business chasing, defence ambition, sentimental objects, and the strange comfort I found in my own rituals.
Rejection, job filtering, food memory, Mirtazapine, and stalled outreach made this day feel tougher than it looked, with me trying to stay polished while feeling the pivot resist me.
Getting my father’s old Swatch back gave the day some emotional weight, and I tried to pair that with ramen, calls, errands, and business follow-up to regain a sense of rhythm and control.
Exhaustion dominated from the first hours, and even when I kept working, watching, planning, and coping, the real shape of the day was how little energy I had for anything at all.
Mandalorian, faith confusion, family conflict, porn, health worries, and business pressure all moved together here, with the whole day feeling like a slow crash I was trying to narrate my way through.
I stayed low, tired, and emotionally heavy, leaning on Queen, mood management, and small comforts while the day kept circling around how hard it was to lift myself back into motion.
Hiring, remote-work logic, and lockdown-style contingency thinking gave the day a more practical spine, even while I was still trying to hold together mood, ambition, and the need to keep expanding.
It started with a bad dream and moved into emails, bank strategy, porn, status fantasies, and too much noise in my head, as I kept switching between practical business moves and private grandiosity.
The day mixed virus math, cyber-business ambition, justice-system frustration, and one of my recurring status dreams, all while I kept imagining a bigger future to outrun the pressure I was under.
Flashbacks hit from the start, and the day tightened around bad health feelings, business disappointment, judicial reform talk, porn relapse, and the sense that my life was narrowing into stress and fatigue.
