Women-Leadership Praise and Anti-Muslim Paranoia in One Day

October 18, 2020

I spent the day praising women in leadership, pushing work and recruitment, and thinking through productivity and hierarchy, with the page showing how tightly I linked admiration, utility, and business judgment.

2:45 PM

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 18, 2020

2:30 p.m.

I missed breakfast. I messaged Ron on WhatsApp in Dutch and he didn't respond. I told him to focus on his talk tomorrow, we'll discuss our deals afterwards and I want to introduce him. I feel hurt when people don't respond to my messages.

I spent last evening on a 6 or 7 hour WhatsApp phone call with Chathurika ███████████ who wants to be our COO. I told her how the business works and helped her as much as I could. She learned a few things about our company team, culture, assets, technology and services. I suggested a HackerSploit YouTube playlist on penetration testing.

I talked about Sheryl Sandberg who I admire as one of my heroes. I recommended Option B book. I talked to her about unleashing her potential. I believe firmly in women and that the world will double productivity and output and solve all problems at double rate if women played an equal role. Women like Jacinda Ardern or Sheryl Sandberg are amazing and deserve recognition.

I also talked about Chris Voss's book Never Split the Difference to help her understand human psychology. I helped her understand how top level business works in my opinion. She's worked at Virtusa but has never met Kris Canekeratne which I was shocked by. She also told me her university education at University of Colombo was free -- I didn't know.

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I spent 2 hours today talking to Chrishan █████, he's been at Capital Maharaja and Dialog Axiata. He's 31. Just like Chathurika who wants to be called Chathu, he also lives in Panadura and has answered all our screening questions properly, concisely and neatly, written a cover letter and has the basic qualifications.

2:45 p.m.

I'm going to go get some food. I'm hungry. My mum gave me Rs 10,000 I spent 8,000 on my phone bill and paid 400 to buy Karutha Kolomban mango ice cream from Cargills Food City. She later came and asked me for Rs 2,000 from me. I noticed I had cold like symptoms last evening which suddenly disappeared. It was strange. I'm going to go get lunch. I'll call some applicants to see what they can offer and then maybe watch Brave New World (2020) tv show.

10:30 p.m.

I had a good lunch. It was Thai food or something. I'm tired. I had chicken bone stock soup and 3 buttered bread slices. I'm tired. My throat and right ear is aching. I have to cut my hair. My mum returned the Rs 2,000 she borrowed.

I'll see Ron tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully, we'll have our meeting as planned. Charith ███████████ seems to have disappeared. He's scared. I also feel very anxious about the business.

I had mango ice cream after lunch. I used to get the frozen mangoes and mangos chopped up from Tesco's. It was really good. It's one of my favourite fruits. I was having the ice cream and I found frozen mango pieces.

I was watching Brave New World. It's futuristic. I think that one day, or maybe already, that's the world we live in. It's very Buddhist. No real attachments. It's a happy sadness. I don't like it. I don't believe in Buddhism, I don't believe in karma or reincarnation.

I sort of believe in the simulation theory. I believe in an intelligent design. I believe in the existence of G-d, but I don't believe in G-d, or I don't know if I do. I'm honestly not interested any longer. Seems to be just a vehicle for social order and mass control.

I read all those religious beliefs so I can understand people. I'm a believer in science. In the words of Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, I just want to fit in. I understand that these people around me are all different.██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

10:45 p.m.

I was thinking.. or actually, umm... I was "plotting"*. I only ever plot. I scheme. But whatever. Word choice is so overrated. I was thinking I should definitely help my mum. But not really. I don't care.

I think there's too many people on the planet. It used to be 1 bn people 100 years ago and now there's 8 bn people (Tamir Pardo). It's too many. Worse, people live on average 30 years longer than 60 years ago (Tamir Pardo). I want there to be less people in this world. Over population sucks.

11:00 p.m.

I was on UberEats app a hour ago and I was going to get Honey Dew bubble tea with the works and after I got back to my room, apparently it wasn't available anymore. I was really sad. But I think it'll be available tomorrow. Or day after tomorrow. I'll get my mum to pay for it. I can't believe those people are charging Rs 1,250 for just 1 honey dew bubble tea drink with whipped cream.

I was also sad I didn't get the eclairs cousin Koshi aiya sent for me for his birthday. He had sent profiteroles or something as well. I'm not a big fan. I'll get them later. He told me to come for some event today, I'm too tired right now. I need to sleep soon. I need 30 mg of Mirtazapine. My head's aching. Heh "Profit - eroles". Actually, I'm a big fan.

11:30 p.m.

I'm going to get some tea. I'm getting sleepy. The orgies in Brave New World are well depicted hehe. I love good tv.

11:45 p.m.

The door in the living room to the area where there is the kettle I bought for my mum is locked. I can't make myself tea. I'm just going to drink water. I'm tired. I'll watch Brave New World and go to sleep. My nose is red. Hmm.. whatever. I have to brush my teeth. I'm so lazy.

I think I should just get a sherbet rose syrup bottle which is like Rs 700 or 800 and then put it into cold water and enjoy that. It tastes great. It's a waste to pay Rs 1,200 for 1 drink of Honey Dew bubble tea.

I was thinking if I sign $10,000,000 USD contract, that's Rs 1,842,000,000 LKR. I think that I can speak with Mr Harry Jayawardena through Thilanga uncle and strike a deal to ██████ Edna assets such as the 5 acres in Grandpass which is in Colombo in exchange for forgiving Lal uncle as he's ████████████████████████████

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7:00 PM

Very sad part of human history: trans Atlantic slave trade

12:00 AM

MONDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2020

12:00 a.m.

It's the only thing keeping me alive. I feel tired. I'm going to watch this TV show Brave New World (2020) and then go to sleep. Tomorrow I want to get Rose Sherbet syrup. I want some sherbet.

In the afternoon, I'll see Ron in the meeting in the gulf. That's approximately in 12 hours from now. Those Dutch use the 24 hour format it seems. I noticed, I used Google translate and when I wrote 3 p.m. in English, it translated to 15:00 in Dutch.

I don't need to meet him privately afterwards as planned. I just want to decide whether I should write to the customer or if I can talk him into getting his company to send the letter. I prefer to downplay my significance.

12:15 a.m.

I think Henry Foster in Brave New World, his face looks like Tamir Pardo, a younger, slimmer version hehe. I think I should proceed with sending the letter to customer by myself from our company letterhead.

1:30 a.m.

I would be very hurt and I don't believe I'd ever forget it if someone I liked or cared about killed him or herself. I'd live with that every day. I would blame myself. The victims and damage is to the family and friends and world.

2:00 p.m.

Lol that was a terrible explanation of Cortisol and adrenaline. I just finished a meeting in the gulf discussing cyber security. I'm exhausted. I'm so tired. I wonder what Ron is up to. He was a speaker. I'll plan this deal closing with him as soon as possible.