VIP Invitation Letters and Dark Comparison Rants

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL

Monday, November 23rd, 2020

The Honourable Jonathan Hirshon

Principal

Horizon Public Relations

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Dear Sir and Brother:

With pleasure, I humbly invite you and Amanda to be my guests for a dream holiday in Sri Lanka from 7th to 27th August 2021. Our family is amongst the wealthiest in Asia, we have a 200+ betting shops gambling duopoly since 1948, lead the Buddhist authorities: All Ceylon Buddhist Congress and World Fellowship of Buddhists, Sri Lanka Cricket, Gangaramaya Temple, and naturally, our national leaders adore us. We’ll anticipate picking you up from BIA airport through the secret VIP lounge, you may stay at our████████████████████████████████████████████████████you’ll have staff to do everything for you. We’ll sightsee all the old colonial buildings, museums, important tourist destinations in Colombo and try all the best local foods. You may take photographs and we’ll make sure nobody invades your celebrity privacy.

As a holiday highlight, we’ll see our magnificent Kandy Esala Perahera in Kandy on 14th with my mum’s celebrity friends from the VIP area in Kandy. We can watch “Ganga Addara” set in Kandy starring my mum and Vijaya Kumaratunga which my late grandma produced. I’ll take you to secret forbidden sections of the Temple of the Sacred Tooth Relic—because we’re the Buddhist authority! We can visit Hambantota (South), Sinharaja Forest (South East), Trincomalee (East) and on 20th, I’ll introduce you to our elite Chamber of Young Lankan Entrepreneurs—Sinhalese Nationalist lobbying organisation led by my family, you may partner for US business if you wish. We will visit, ride and swim with elephants, climb ancient Sigiriya Rock Fortress, Jaffna (North), Yale, Anuradhapura, Kandy, Polonnaruwa, Adam’s Peak, Dambulla, Nuwara Eliya, etc or do as you wish before going home to California. I’ll pay for everything and you may travel with my team or me, so you’re always safe, comfortable and accompanied by guides.

Yours sincerely and fraternally,

LEHAN EDIRISINGHE

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Okay, show her these two, I'll email you:

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2020

10:30 p.m.

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The buffalo doesn't need to hear the lion tell it that the lion is going to pounce for its neck. Girls know why boy are interested in talking to them. Hitler pretended to be friends with the Jews, during WW1, I heard a rumour, he got favours from Freemasons, one guy was wearing a Mason ring, he got ideas, I don't know, or so I hear, again, I don't know

Despite having one nut, apparently, or so I hear, ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████, he seemed to be very friendly with people to their face, he charmed people.

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SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2020

12:00 a.m.

I must never again do any more racist things, no more Islamophobia, no more evil, no more being cruel, no being wicked, at least openly, unfairly, anymore.

2:00 a.m.

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3:30 p.m.

I better get moving. I'm drowsy on 60 mg of ███████████. I need more. I missed breakfast and lunch. I need to go see what's there to eat. I'll have to make Jonathan Hirshon a birthday card to post on his Wall or give him something.