I cheated so much. Hehehe
I cheat so much in paintball
i carry this, "side arm", which is a few extra paintballs in one army camo jacket, and on the other, I keep these, kitchen paper serviettes
So whenever I get shot, I would fall to other side, pretending to have "ducked" like Trump on July 13, 2024
And then, by miracle, divine intervention, the holy spirit, would help wipe that fake paintball blood off, and I would get back in it
I was one of those kids, who needed to be surrounded like Scarface, and shot a few times, until I surrendered, and actually yielded by holding the gun and arm up, as though I have died
Or else I didn't
If some referee saw me, I would I guess, have to surrender
But I would stay on the other side of them
And stuff
I cheated so many times, and wow, this Confession Sunday, I am relieved of so much of my guilt, and sin, and shame
I would moralize or give a morale boost to everyone else, who would hide in the back or actually "die" when they got shot
I think I would get tired after 3 - 4 hours
Because, I would do a crawl sprint, a bit like a crab or a spider, then yank or otherwise gank or fire people
The whole Paintball thing, like a firefight, is all about suppressing fire, deception or attracting attention or causing fear
So your team, can go and shoot them from the side, or behind, or "flank" them
It's effective, but my ribs and body would ache, and be dead, by 3-4 hours
You really need a whole army to take me
And when they try to crawl in to shoot me, they're cockroaches
When I do it, I'm a crab or a jaguar or panther or lion in the brush
When they run away, they're rats
When I retreat, I'm a squirrel or a cat
Or something
I cheated so many times, I shoulda gone to jail
I even cheated every single time I ever played Monopoly, I always demanded I be the banker
Paintball is a real sport, we should do a gladiator paintball thing