MONDAY, DECEMBER 21, 2020
3:00 a.m.
Omg it's almost Christmas day. I love Jesus Christ so much! Yay, I'm so happy it's Christmas soon. I also noticed that I wrote 53 weeks, some years have extra weeks maybe.
I had a 4 hour chat with Lakmal Perera about our legal employment agreement and to discuss our plans. I work tirelessly. I'll always love to work hard. I like to stay active, I can't just stop or do nothing. I need to stay active like a shark must swim always, it's a double edged sword but it has it's perks.
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It's sad, i always look around, look at everyone equally, try my best to love people for who they are, try my best to see the good in people, and I just tend to only like so few:
Jonathan is my most favourite person in the world. He's just like me, he's into enjoying the craft, he loves food and drink, he's very friendly and cool.
I'll be very sad if he and Jacques weren't around. I'm already sad Jacques is going to die soon because he's 75 and he's so old..
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3:15 a.m.
They weren't really dumb and stupid
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Sigh, I guess, Bhante Saranapala and my two cousins can anyway do all my work or whatever is expected of me on my behalf and absence. It's truly disturbing for me how I've become almost reliant on these drugs to eat and sleep and get through a day, they're my walking cane and crutch.
It most likely won't get any better. Or maybe it will. It's good to be optimistic. If the Mirtazapine can do so much good, that means that medicine and healthcare can make this work and I can recover. I probably just need more medical intervention and to stop stressing out so much.
Plus, a lot of good things are happening. My kidneys or liver aren't ruined by my intake of Mirtazapine as far as I can tell. I guess, cognitive behavioral therapy is not an easy thing, but I could try it again. Maybe, things will just work. Maybe, I'll snap out of it. Maybe, this stuff is all just in my head.
It's good to be positive. I'm having a lot of fun. Plus, I'm excited to try make Sri Lanka into a California. I love the sense of purpose I've got. It's exciting. I always wanted to be successful like Singapore, but I hate their ugly social laws and hateful, racist and judgemental attitudes towards gays and drug users, we can do better I'm certain.
