One Small Miss, Then Spiral Control

February 23, 2021 Lehan Edirisinghe

<p>I forget soda water and instantly treat it like evidence that I'm sloppy, then start policing sugar, exercise, soundproofing, and even HDMI audio. The conflict is control versus living, the stake is health and self-respect, and the payoff is learning to recover fast from tiny errors.</p>

Hidden

Missing Facebook Comments and Deleting Himari’s Second Account

2:15 p.m.

I wrote about 83 comments yesterday, today it was 79, so FB has deleted 4.

It is strange. I dunno, anyway we are friendly, it is better this way. :)

I was thinking Australia just has a 20m population, they have a strong GDP and people and large land mass, but they will be less troublesome over long haul with the new FB media company prevention move.

I deleted Himari's second account on FB. Her brother Visal and family are crazy and I cannot click with them.

Story

The First Purge, Elliptical Exercise and Forgotten Soda Water

10:30 p.m.

Omfg I forgot to buy more soda water! F***. Stupid mistake. I make stupid mistakes.

I can get some, next time.

I worry that the sugar in jam is too dangerous for me

I will put a little bit only.

I will soon watch The First Purge whole doing 35 minutes on the elliptical machine

In the luxury, comfort, safety, privacy and convenience of my own home bedroom

Every week, I need 75 minutes of exercise

And it makes me healthy or something

I should do it

I also need to soundproof my room

Though, our house is very large, so there are no noise complaints

When I plug the laptop into HDMI the audio does not work, so I have to restart my laptop computer PC

The Hateful Eight, Tapering Mirtazapine and Wanting Lehara’s Red Bull

2:30 a.m.

I loved The Hateful Eight. This guy Quentin Tarantino's a genius. He married that girl, 20 years younger, Daniella Pick. I love this guy.

I saw Jonathan Hirshon is getting depressed. I also struggle. I hope I avoid serotonin syndrome.

I want to kick Mirtazapine.

I will stay on 45 mg, then reduce to 30mg.

Then 15 and quit.

Maybe 7.5mg and quit.

It is probably Complex PTSD more than depression.

Which explains the terrible flashbacks

But I am wishful I am improving

This movie was full of gore

It is what i like to see

When I feel a lot better, I will reduce to 30 mg

I will be okay

I have nothing to feel depressed about, except for getting robbed by Lal

But whatever

Starting up is cool too

My sister Lehara loves RedBull

She has hidden her can in the back of the fridge

I know it is hers, but

I want her RedBull now

.....

***

I am so sleepy now

It is funny how I keep writing that, "I am so sleepy now"

It is like that N word, hehehe I love how they say N word all the time in Hateful Eight

It is like that N word in

And i always say N word spelt with er in the end, as hatefully as I can

It is like that N word in

Hahahhahahahhahahhahhahhahahhhhahahahhahahahhahahaahahahhahahahhahhaha

XD

https://youtu.be/YT-tFOXdwSI

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