5:00 a.m.
I am disturbed by The Purge S01E09 and I am on S01E10 season finale. It is shocking. This guy is f***ing crazy. He tries to kill Penelope for not saying, "thank you" for opening a door. He is mad.
I was thinking I should also be a lot more cool. I am living in a state of paranoia. I guess, it is good for security, but it is never going to give me a peace of mind. I believe it will give me a peace of mind.
I seem to be a real c***. I am a right wing type. A fascist. A dictator. It is a shortcoming. I must improve and accept people more.
I was watching a Comedy Central roast. I saw the Fox News commentator pundit Ann Coulter, she was roasted for being a Nazi. This is the adjective I can be described as if I do not start accepting others.
I am too insecure. I suspect people. It is also deeply troubling racism. I am a real c***. It is not good. Today, I saw something that shook me. It was what Jacques taught me. Jacques told me it is about soda water.
I kept soda water in the fridge, after 2 or 3 days, it went completely flat. I imagined my sister Lehara has taken the soda out and replaced it with tap water to attack me or injure me.
Today I was researching it, apparently soda water goes flat by itself quickly. It is a big, real thing. I am running an experiment. So, as I suspect she can replace the soda water in the fridge, I kept the new one in my room, where it is safe and not even refrigerated.
If it does not go flat in 2 or 3 days, it means it is her. It must mean she has done something. It is a crazy thing. But it is the way I look at the world. I look with suspicion. It is how I am.
Chances are, I am wrong. I was thinking, what if I imagined ███████ was an attacker just because her friends█████████████████████████████████████disdain Thilanga uncle? What if I imagined she did it?
It would be awful. I honestly believe my sister Lehara threw out the soda water and replaced it with tap water. I shook the soda bottle repeatedly, it did not fizz, it was plain water. I am waiting to see the results of my experiment to judge my sister's innocence.
https://youtu.be/pKvqAznAOTY
It is quite messed up. I need to improve. Already, I have a gut feeling that I am wrong. I love the fizz. I love soda Jacques is a genius. It is a problem in my mind, the way I look at this world, I think after █████████betrayed us, or my mother betrayed us, I distrusted always.
It does not matter. I will move on. I did not get enough exercise this week. Or last week. My rib has mostly healed up. I will do some elliptical machine running. I have a lot of light, a lot of hope and I must make use of my potential.
I want to be a good guy and not a bad villain. It seems I am the wicked scorpion who crosses the pond on the frog. Or maybe that is too much of a negative, unfair comparison. No, I am an okay person. I will improve. I am just going through a lot of bad luck.
I will eventually get something to work, things will work out, I will help my mum, save my uncle, help my people, protect SL and reach new heights. One thing good about me is my integrity. I seem to always learn, always record, always grow. I try to cut off and shed the darkness and ignorance.
As long as I am honest, I will be okay. I saw my ignorance by seeing this. I was acting like a dictator, or I was being nasty and hurting people too much. I was emotionally abusive. It could be that flashbacks make me feel under attack, I must defend. I dunno.
5:15 a.m.
It is worth re-examining. I have not done anything bad to anyone physically. I only write, which is freedom of speech. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
Only people not to be written about, I wrote about, because this ███████ girl knows some of them. It is immature to say they started it, but it is fair for me to defend myself and my family from an attack. It does not matter what her excuse is, I was attacked, I hit back violently in words, it is reasonable to do so.