Feeling Better, Then Thinking Through Pride and Hidden Danger

April 2, 2021

A fragmentary page that starts by saying I feel better, then turns inward: I am silently processing plans, trying to understand a hidden danger through the idea of the Qliphoth Horcrux, and then slipping into a Pulp Fiction-style riff about pride, power, and Thilanga.

5:30 a.m.

I ate all the 42% sugar, 269 KCal x 4 servings = 1,076 calorie: Bikaji Soan Papdi (Manbhavan) 200g.

It is good, it is a sweet.

When having my dinner, I drank sugared tea with a bit of honey.

It was not so good, I worry I added honey to boiling water, so that was a mistake.

It does not taste as good. I will add it after it cools down, next time.

I am sleepy now.

I watched, regularly skipping, both seasons, S01 and S02 of A Discovery Of Witches.

I did not particularly like or enjoy it, a 2 out of 10.

Queen's Gambit, declined, is not a 8 or 9, it is a 6.

With time, the score I prescribe changes.

With ███████ and the Muslims, they are on my mind.

Imtiyaz Gaffoor, he is a good guy. It is a bit harsh to judge and punish all of them harshly for her.

A lot of them, it is quite unfair, I removed over 200 ██████████████ and they are in danger now.

It is precisely what happened with 9/11, just about 10 guys from Saudi Arabia killed 3,000:

Iraq got invaded, over a million people ruined.

It feels wrong, it is not like Muhammad or someone like Mohammad Ali Sabry, a big guy, made the error.

Punishing all of them, look at them with suspicion, it is wrong and not correct.

In order to judge someone or a group as guilty and to punish them, they must deserve punishment.

5:45 a.m.

I cannot believe ███████'s stupidity.

She did not see this will happen to her.

It is the same with the Iranian girl who attacked the Uber taxi driver.

She just did not see it.

I see the ███████ in a negative way.

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Muhammad, his mother, was a servant, she had sex with a Jewish king who was married to another lady.

Muhammad, therefore, he probably had a sacred line of David or Abraham blood in him.

So, he was able to do all of those things. He was special, anointed.

It explains why he believed he could have multiple wives and everything.

The mother was thrown out, this is the injustice Islam is rooted and born out of.

Or so I hear.

Someone told me.

I do not know.

I do not know if it was a Jewish king. I do not know who Muhammad's father was.

Oh right, I remember who told me that lie.

it was Saroj Perera, the chairman of Douglas and Son's wife Kanchana's brother Cyril.

I tend to remember things.

It is not a true story.

Muhammad's father was Abdullah ibn Abd al-Muttalib.

Abdullah's father was Abd al-Muttalib Shaybah ibn Hashim.

The problem for me with being Islamophobic, is that it attracts hateful people who lie.

This is why I must avoid it.

It is disgusting.

Charith, Jacques and Sanjeeva, they ganged up on ███████ and eventually got rid of her.

Charith said things, Jacques said she was likely something I cannot repeat and then prevented a tragedy by laughing at what she could do---

Sanjeeva wanted People's Bank for himself, as he knows CIO Dhammika Dasa and knows he does not need ███████ and Denzil Perera's friend Chairman Sujeewa Rajapaksa --

and I do not need them, Thilanga uncle and others know the GM -- and "this is SL" and my uncle's Thilanga for f***'s sake!

Nanda has told Imtiyaz he is a ██████ and therefore cannot be COO.

Sadly, I have to agree, it is so sad.

This Wasim Thajudeen guy, what a f***ing moron, he went and pissed off the Rajapaksas.

I cannot believe the stupidity.

He and this Zahran and ███████ to a lesser degree, they all ruined things for Muslims.

It is not fair, there are so many good ones.

Sarah Nazeem helped me, she was my business teacher, she went out of her way for me.

It is so sad.

When they pissed off these people, those angry people sinisterly thought of ways to sabotage Islam.

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People like Jacques, he does not need to be friends with everyone in Sri Lanka when he has me:

1. The Religion: Buddhism, 2. The Gambling: 500 betting shops, 3. Power, what more do you need?

███████, I cannot believe how foolish.

They lost the moral authority.

They lost their collective moral authority, just like with the Jewish people and the Jewish deicide.

Deity + cide = homicide of Jesus.

As much as the Muslims believe that Wasim's death gives them moral authority, it does not.

It defeats them, it shows they are provocateurs.

People sided with the Rajapaksas.

We see the ██████ with distrust, and worse, mistrust.

We see them as the enemy; my story, it is giant hole in the ███████, not to be allowed into our homes.

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We saw it with that █████████████ in Ampara where pharmaceutical medications were added.

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The story was passed off as fake news, by claiming there are no "sterilisation pills" -- a lie.

Some drugs, medications, they have a side effect of causing impotence or decreasing sperm count.

This foolish boy Thushara Jayatunga, this greedy conman Ajith Salgado, they risked our Sinhalese.

Worst, that impotent b***ard ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████--

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6:00 a.m.

I do not need them to get my deals.

I just need Thilanga uncle, he should be the one to get it all done, Jacques or Nanda a CBSL director can do it.

Plus anyway I guess Jagath uncle is to blame for dragging me to that cocksucker's house.

Son of a b***h.

Hutha-gey putha! Kareeya!

We'll see what happens.

Just kidding.

I like to talk like this, it is very entertaining and I just know this is the only kind of dialogue that is funny.

It is entertaining.

* Wicked giggles *

I mean, if alternatively, I wrote:

"I like Channa guy, this guy Thushara is good, decent human being, bla bla bla"

I would never find myself reading it.

If there was no dark stuff in our Freemason rituals, like the penalties, the penal signs:

I would just judge Freemasonry to be boring.

No, the rituals, they make it "cool" for me.

This type of violent dark writing, the of it all, the graphic violence, threatening talk, the mafia language, it is what I am drawn to.

I cannot copy the Italian mafia language.

It is not my own.

For instance, in Sopranos, they say, "stop busting my balls" or "sleeps with the fishes" or "fat f***"--

or a number of phrases.

In the original and awful Jersey Shore, "Guido" was used, but this colourful language is attractive.

But our Sinhalese Sri Lankan mafia language is authentic and natural to me to channel

A Caucasian cannot play an African Tribal Warlord despite Hideo Kojima's White Mamba in Metal Gear Solid Snake: The Phantom Pain.

When I was watching S01 and S02 of A Discovery of Witches, I quickly skipped through--

I quickly skipped through S01 E02 of Small Axe--

and I only looked at the violent scenes.

There was a rape rescue in Small Axe episode.

This was all I saw.

A Discovery of Witches was really boring, just a spin off, trying to steal off Twilight; it was s***ty.

I honestly could not watch it. It reeked.

The violent stuff I write, the theatrics, it is enthralling, it is visceral, like Willard Wyler:

I am a master of the macabre.

I live for this kind of thing, the drama.

I do not know, I do not know or understand the power of entertainment allure.

I could never quite tell.

What was it that drew us?

Why do I watch the Godfather a 100 times over?

Why?

* Sigh *

I am thinking...

I do not know.

This girl, Robyn did Dancing On My Own, it was s*** when it came out, just like Star Wars or Scarface, it became yuge a few years later.

I am like that guy, David Bowie in Lazarus,

he writes stuff, he thinks and writes; and by the time I go to New York, I will be living like a king.

https://youtu.be/y-JqH1M4Ya8

6:30 a.m.

I think that The Godfather was just a movie, Al Pacino, Marlon Brando, they are just actors.

Trump, most likely too, he is a career entertainer.

He was not a blue blooded upperclassman according to Stephen LaBrooy:

"Trump was a white trash loser" (Stephen LaBrooy).

If not for Stephen and Jacques, I would not be a Freemason, all of the rest of the 500 are boring.

I only like people like me.

I LOVE the blood in my writings.

It is all so bloody.

If Game of Thrones;

I mean, come on.

If Game of Thrones was not so shocking, no one would want to watch it.

I was so shocked when the Mountain burst the Viper's head, and gouged his eyes out.

It was shocking. I felt medical shock.

Traumatic enough, I still write about it years later.

This is what I like.

The ending was horrible because George R Martin sold his soul and sold his audience out to the producers.

The loser gave it a happy ending, just like J K Rowling demanded a British cast for their movie.

They ruin everything!

People would just refuse to accept it if Jon Snow got killed and whatever.

They needed it to go that way.

Star Wars too, ruined, utterly ruined.

The violence in my writing is what I love.

Marlon Brando, okay sure, he was an actor, it was a movie, but it was a real performance.

Nobody can recreate the Godfather.

Even with a billion dollar Disney budget, if they remade The Godfather:

without Marlon as Vito, it could not work, it will not work, it will be s*** like the new Beyonce Lion King.

I want to embed the violence into my writings.

6:45 a.m.

I think I could say, that I only bequeath unto the world the idea of live acting simulation.

Just pretend, make things seem real for a good purpose.

Or is it really?

Am I really just joking?

Or am I being so honest and pretending to lie?

It is hard to tell.

I just hide behind the "fiction" or "dramatised" writer label to get away with it.

Just the same with the ridiculous anti prostitution law in the US: you just film instead lawfully.

I kind of have damaged views on ██████████████████████████████████████████████.

Just the same way they treated us in Ampara as their trusting, vulnerable eaters--

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Lenny Cohen -- You Want It Darker:

https://youtu.be/YD6fvzGIBfQ

[Verse 1: Leonard Cohen]

If you are the dealer

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[Verse 2: Leonard Cohen]

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[Chorus: Leonard Cohen]

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[Verse 3: Leonard Cohen]

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[Verse 4: Leonard Cohen]

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[Chorus: Leonard Cohen]

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[Verse 5: Leonard Cohen]

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[Verse 6: Leonard Cohen]

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[Chorus: Leonard Cohen]

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[Outro: Cantor Gideon Zelermyer]

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The artist’s son Adam Cohen produced the track to haunting effect, juxtaposing his father’s minimalist vocal delivery with the sublime sounds of Montreal’s Cantor Gideon Zelermyer and the Shaar Hashomayim Synagogue Choir.

The song’s length, 4:44, may reflect the connotation of number four as the throne of God in Hebrew symbolism. This would align with the idea that Cohen, feeling his death imminent, was preparing to be received in paradise with this song. In fact, Cohen did die on November 7, 2016, less than two months after the song was released.

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11:30 a.m.

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I deleted some bad ideas. There is no need to do any bad things.

Some thing that really struck me was Jonathan Hirshon hates the Qliphoth in Kabballah.

I guess, being a fan of the Sith in Star Wars, I was intrigued, but I soon understood it was wrong.

Those bad things, alcohol (which Muslims avoid), adultery, stealing, killing, they cost you.

I do not know, but I can feel things.

When I was initiated as a Freemason, so was Brother Jennings, a bit of an Irishman.

https://freemasonrymatters.co.uk/latest-news-freemasonry/wyggeston-lodge-welcomes-two-new-members/

Jennings was a bit older, like Jonathan, he is about 40 or 50. I had a chat with him over a beer at the bar.

Those things, they are very deep and sacred to me.

Someone like Jonathan, he is the only one person I like as a friend because his views are parallel to mine.

He hates the Qliphoth, I fear he must know about it though he outright refuses to talk Horcrux.

I saw his friend Dave Goldberg died very mysteriously, on the elliptical machine, it looked like black magic.

That is sadly what Qliphoth is all about.

Story

1:15 p.m.

I am feeling better now.

I was silently processing plans internally.

In order to protect myself, I needed to know about the Qliphoth Horcrux.

It is important to see the danger.

You cannot fight what you cannot see or know.

You see the Pride:

https://youtu.be/c1q2PitIM9w

FADE IN:

MEDIUM SHOT – BUTCH COOLIDGE

We FADE UP on BUTCH COOLIDGE, a white, 26-year-old

prizefighter. Butch sits at a table wearing a red and blue

high school athletic jacket. Talking to him OFF SCREEN is

everybody's boss THILANGA SUMATHIPALA. The brown man sounds

like a cross between a gangster and a king.

MARSELLUS (O.S.)

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BUTCH

I got no problem with that.

MARSELLUS (O.S.)

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6 matched names linked to the Names index.