9:30 p.m.
Okay, just to recap my "Lehan for SL" ambitions..
Okay, so, step 1, "be a Freemason". Check
Step 2, "Get a Cult". Let me check this..
* Phone Rings. *
"Hello Charith"
"Yes, Mr Edirisinghe! Sir!"
"Just call me 'Lehan' my friend. What are you doing?"
"Was driving my mum and dad to the emergency ward in the hospital, I pulled over when I saw you calling, then I got out -- I am so sorry it took 2 rings."
"It is fine".
"Thank you, Mr Edirisinghe, I will remember this day for ever and ever in great honour, that you called me-- !"
* Phone Hangs *
* Dial Tone *
"Hello Denzil?"
"THERUWAN SARANAI LEHAN".
"It is fine, Theruwan Saranai".
* Phone Hangs Up *
* Phone Rings *
* There is an old era dialing tone because the person being called is soo old and 76 soon *
( He is 76 tomorrow! )
"Hello Lehan, you remembered me? Listen Shavendra was asking about--"
"Oops, wrong number, sorry!"
* Slams the Phone Receiver *
Okay step 2 is checked!
Step 3 is umm...
What was step 3?
https://youtu.be/8ORQJtxicrA
This town's like a great big p***y
just waiting to get f***ed.
I should've come here years ago.
I'd have been a millionaire by this time.
By this time, I'd have had my own boat,
my own car...
...my own golf course.
You know what I want?
I thought of this the other day.
A line of blue jeans. With my name
written on the back of chicks' asses.
How's that?
That sounds completely crazy to me.
Look at that. Look.
You're missing the sights. That's what
you're doing. We're missing the action.
Want to have some ice cream
with my friend and me?
Get lost, greaseball!
- Look at that.
- "Ice cream"?
- That's right.
- You said "ice cream"?
- Girls like ice cream.
- Come on, man. That's not gonna work.
You can't do it that way.
You know how you pick up chicks
in this country?
- What was that? What you just did?
- That's what you do.
That's disgusting.
- Watch.
- Look at that. You look like a lizard.
Like a bug coming out of your mouth.
That figures you wouldn't understand.
But the women in this country,
when you do that, they know.
- They know what?
- They understand. They go crazy.
It'll take practice, but you gotta learn.
Women love when you suck the p***y.
Look at that.
She's looking at us.
- You think you can do it with her?
- I think I can.
- You want to try it with her?
- Why not?
- You gonna watch me?
- I'm looking at you. Go ahead.
- You won't do it.
- Watch this.
I'm with you, man.
I'm gonna get her.
Go ahead, Romeo! Do your thing.
- Just be quiet. Just hang back.
- Romeo!
You're looking very pretty today.
Yes, you. I've been watching you.
You want to see something funny?
Take a look over there. See that man?
Watch that guy. I gotta sit down here.
I gotta watch my friend
He gonna stick his tongue out to that girl.
Look at that.
You're sick!
You see what happened to him?
- Lf I wasn't a nice guy, I'd crack you.
- She's too big for you.
- Causing trouble like that. Come on.
- B***h!
- What I try to tell you?
- Lesbian!
What I try to tell you? This country,
you gotta make the money first.
Then when you get the money,
you get the power.
Then when you get the power,
then you get the women.
That's why you gotta
make your own moves.
That's the one I rented.