Buddhism, England, and Trying Not to Be Unfair to Muslims

பிப்ரவரி 9, 2021

The page starts with Buddhist enthusiasm and dreams, then widens into food runs, England longing, moon-landing inspiration, and a self-correction on Muslims: I keep trying to separate real friendships from lazy anger and overreach.

2:30 PM

This is a good event. Thank you and Congratulations to those who helped protect and gift the teachings of Buddha.

2:30 PM (b)

I wish I could have taken part!

2:45 PM

This is a great initiative! But let's get one thing straight: EA stands for Entered Apprentice Freemason!!!

https://youtu.be/4oFeKJKoaKc

3:00 PM

3:00 p.m.

I woke up a while ago. I had a vivid dream. Mirtazapine increases Rapid Eye Movement or REM sleep which must be contributing.

I hope to connect with Tim. David Chichinadze can introduce me. I want to learn more about Buddhism from Tim. It is exploitative. I got access to Jonathan Hirshon who teaches me stuff about Kabbalah -- starting with how despite popular culture my red string is not real Kabbalah.

In my dream, I remember I was going to a friend's house. It was dark. I saw it was a big cube shape, spacious futuristic block house. It may have been Wood or a new material. I saw many people. I recognized friends, we were doing something cool or sinister. I think maybe we had masks, but not Covid-19 masks. I cannot remember it now, but it felt real, I did not know I was dreaming.

3:15 PM

3:15 p.m.

James was telling me he is just over end of year Mayhem.

He is still to meet Mr Mayhem...

https://youtu.be/ZqIq3hwIoAk

3:45 PM

3:45 p.m.

These products, a fruit jam I must choose, with whipped cream, 500g bread or a croissant preferably or I guess, a crepe, and Maggi Devilled Chilli Blast and never Chilli Chicken, and I guess, soda to make fizzy sherbet syrup or Nelli (I am yet to try) or passion fruit, mango, orange or another, maybe lime, grape cordial and something else -- are available on Uber Eats, but I will go to a physical shop because they appear to be rip off prices and poorly described on Uber Eats.

5:15 PM

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5:30 PM

5:30 p.m.

I am a lot healthier after doing my 37 - 12 = 25 minutes on the elliptical machine yesterday.

I am feeling tired today. I will get used to it, it is muscle memory, it will be easier, with time.

A few months ago, I struggled to do 5 minutes a day, now I have improved my fitness to 25 minutes.

I love my elliptical machine: "the Dave Goldberg".

We should name a road after Dave for how cool he was to Chamath Palihapitiya in SL or a building.

Lakmal ██████ works hard, good guy. He was smoking and drinking last night. He quickly sent me a Sinhala language draft.

I cannot understand it at all. I will have to show Puthula akki as Ramani Loku Ammi does not understand it.

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They need to read both, then make a decision. It is meant for signing by James, to be sent to President Gotabaya Rajapaksa.

The thing is these letters, James is a white British, he cannot understand Sinhala, so it is strange, and also, if you use Google translate, my version is easy to understand because Google wrote mine!

5:30 PM (b)

5:30 p.m.

(b)

My Tamil driver Chandima, I think it is his name, he has gone to pick my brother Milan up at 5:30 p.m.

I was planning to visit Jacques with his 20YO Graham's Port bottle. I will need to delay. I love my friend Jacques, he is my favourite.

I will first go to a shop and see if they have cordial and soda water and Maggi and that strawberry or fruit jam to spread.

I also miss the Hyacinth Macaws. They were my favourite, we would dance. I think we can make the aviary a lot bigger, to cover the whole garden.

We then train birds better to hide in the medium size cages for when playing cricket, so we can play cricket inside the aviary cage -- this way, like last time and every time, I will not hit the ball for a 6 or Six up onto the roof.

6:00 PM

6:00 p.m.

I sent three templates to Ramani Loku Ammi and I guess, I will send Anusha Loku Ammi and my mum. Loku Ammi means Big Mother in Sinhala. It is in Sinhala, and I cannot understand Lakmal's words, so it needs to be judged by them.

It is not a good idea to make a bigger aviary. It is already big enough, the size of 2 or 3 small but very tall rooms, so birds can fly. Like the bird park in Singapore, maybe, we can make it bigger.

6:15 PM

6:15 p.m.

I miss my grandmother. She took me to Deli France every month with my family. I used to always get the tuna mayo croissant. It is still my favourite. I acquired taste for tomatoes and lettuce too. It was at Odel.

Now, it is terribly managed by Ashok Pathirage uncle, there are flies everywhere, inside the glass panels, it is a disgrace, a disaster and disgusting.

I used to also get the hot chocolate at Deli France. I like croissants.

I went to Movenpick for a secret business and political meeting, I got great coffee from bean and the hot chocolate is great. Ashok Pathirage uncle manages that well. The food is great. I am sure they improved the standards at Asiri Hospital.

6:30 PM

6:30 p.m.

My mum is cooking. I have to pay my phone bill. I am eating 10 or 15 pistachios. It is delicious. I have not tried pistachio ice cream, as I am scared to step outside my comfort zone, but I will try. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

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6:45 PM

6:45 p.m.

I will go to pay phone bill tomorrow at super market, when I buy cordial. I am reluctant to buy on Uber Eats, as the price variance is so high. I am sure Ashok Pathirage uncle will fix up the Deli France restaurant, there are flies, there has to be a way to fix it. I feel unhappy to eat. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

7:00 PM

7:00 p.m.

I saw this on UberEats:

மறைந்தது

7:15 PM

7:00 p.m.

I ordered my groceries on Uber Eats.

9:45 PM

9:30 p.m.

I am watching The Crown S03 E06. I had to play Hinky Pinky Polly to decide whether to open the Sherbert or the Passion Fruit cordial bottle. There was an ant on the Sherbert, so G-d either wanted me to open Sherbert Syrup or did not want me to open it, so anyway, Hinky Pinky Polly pointed to Sherbert.

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I like this drink, it is really good. I hope I do not catch the diabetics because this has a lot of sugar.

9:45 p.m.

* Lehan resumes watching The Crown S03 E06 *

10:00 PM

10:00 p.m.

I feel vommittish. I-

Omg, 'vomit-tish' is not a real word either!

Oh no, oh no!

I feel sick, I want to purge, I want to throw up, this passion fruit drink had too much sugar in it.

Or the gas from the club soda is too upsetting.

I have a headache.

I will probably just be cool.

...

I miss England.

I miss the Cornish Custard Pudding and ice cream.

I miss the people.

There was this one moment, I remember.

I was with my mum, or Ammi as I call her, and we were in a coffee shop in Leicester, and this older lady, she just came up to us, and she was like, "hello, how are you doing?" in the most sincere way.

Their people are just so great.

10:30 PM

This looks really good indeed

11:00 PM

11:00 p.m.

I need to brush my teeth and get ready to sleep. I am thinking maybe, ██████ getting justice, as a Muslim, will restore the Muslim's integrity in SL. ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

11:15 PM

11:00 p.m.

(b)

I think there is some Edam cheese, I have to open it and get a slice. I can eat marmite cheddar sandwiches. Or something. I miss the tomato soup in England.

I feel for Prince Charles. He is a good guy. People hate him for what happened with Princess Diana. He made a blunder, he also should have not had affairs with that other woman, it really ruined his name.

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11:15 PM (b)

11:15 p.m.

(b)

I doubt there is a box to keep the Edam cheese in, after I cut it. I like cheese--a lot.

I am also thinking, my racism towards Muslims, is a bit "unfair" and unreasonable.

This is because I know at least 300 Muslims. Of these 300, 299 were most kind towards me, like Usayeed or Mommo Maniku, "come to my home anytime, eat out of my fridge, take my clothes or perfumes, or shoes, or video games or books, call me, no matter what".

It is immoral, and wrong, to say all 300 were pieces of s*** Judases, especially, when there is no proof.

11:45 PM

11:45 p.m.

I cut a few slices of cheddar. Or blocks of cheddar. I will eat it, I will then go to sleep. I am a bit hungry. I will eat an instant ramen or a sandwich if I am still hungry. I should try to sleep soon and wake up on time for breakfast. I need to find a new container to keep our chopped up Edam cheese slices in, so, I must do this, before cutting it up.

* Yawn *

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12:00 AM

Wednesday, February 10th, 2021

12:00 a.m.

I am sleepy now. I need to take 45 mg of Mirtazapine and sleep. Tomorrow, I will ask my mum for some cash, then buy some strawberry jam to eat, and pay my phone bill, and to go hang out with Jacques. I love Jacques.

I will be very hurt when he dies, which will happen soon because he is 76 years old now, it was his birthday last week, and he is so old. I have to gift him his 20YO port bottle.

I was thinking of him when making my coffee a few days ago, I tried to drink it without coffee like he does, then I thought it was disgusting and added sugar.

I think that 'asking my mum for some cash', is like asking for my government budget to be approved, securing investor funding or a bank loan, or something, it is how it works.

12:45 AM

12:30 a.m.

I am getting very sleepy. I must brush my teeth. I need a new tube of Sensodyne GSK toothpaste. I am sleepy. I am a bit slightly hungry. I need to cut my nails as well. I am thinking of strawberry jam. I need to go see Jacques. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ He helped lobby my mum and Thilanga uncle. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

12:45 AM (b)

12:45 a.m.

I was watching The Crown S03 E07. I stopped, I will watch it later, maybe tomorrow.

It is starting off with the US moon landing. It is something that really turned my world upside down. To think we, mankind got on the moon. It shook me. It made me think anything is suddenly possible.

As long as you can dream, you can inspire people and a team, you can come up with a plan, if you can keep trying, keep working hard, you can also do anything.

I was a small kid, I was depressed, unhappy my abusive father died, my incapable mother lost our money, my family screwed up, I hated school, I was miserable, but here I was, on YouTube, ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ and seeing JFK give his speech, daring to get on the moon....

It is intoxicating. It is what makes me feel "alive". Living on the edge, being straight with people, questioning things, finding 'new' things, it is what makes me feel happy, alive and excited.

Looking at that, looking at that moment, we got on the moon, and obviously, I look at the moon now, and I think instead, oh boy, Buzz Aldrin, a fellow Freemason, he got up there. It is refreshing. It is energy for me. To know "we" got up there. It is what makes me feel safe too.

2:00 AM

2:00 a.m.

I made two trips downstairs, I got two slices of bread, went upstairs to realise, I was missing a knife, so, I went down again, (all the demons in the dark ran away when they saw 'the boss' arriving).. I then applied a large amount of Marmite onto the two slices, and slowly, enjoyed it. I then brushed my teeth, I saw a bit of marmite on my beard in the mirror. I thought I need to shave. I was contemplating using my trimmer, which I use for my body hair, I decided against it.

I then ate about 10 delicious pistachios.

I was thinking about Buddha's teachings. I do not agree with them, but there is wisdom in this. I do see the Sinhalese as my own people. The trouble is a bunch of bad people caused a lot of danger to our people by stealing. I am happy a lot of them are now in a lot of trouble.███is in a lot of trouble instead. I should be happy.

Things will work out. I will give█████nything also, I am hoping he will learn, but stay away from us. I despise people like him, he has not got his word.

I spoke with Thilanga uncle a few days ago about Buddhism. It is a fascinating religion. I actually am a Buddhist. It is the only thing I can agree with. It is just some aspects are difficult. I do not like this world, for instance, because you must kill animals. It is part of the reason I do not like to call myself a Buddhist. It is the one thing I hate! We are all causing a lot of suffering.

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