Outbreak Fear and Exhibit Dumps Until Burnt Ends at Night

January 25, 2020

Outbreak fear and exhibit dumping took over most of the day, and I kept using smaller comforts and food rituals to steady myself against the growing sense of instability.

Fri 24 Jan

10:30 a.m.

I woke up at 9:30 a.m. I had a quick meeting with FOXTROT Singapore, about a new project. We're trying to supply products to supermarket chains. I need to write a plan to Indrajith.

12:00 p.m.

I'm still in bed.██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I dunno. I gotta work on this email to Indrajith Jayaratne CEO of SIT. I'm happy to work with my family's (owned) businesses.

12:15 p.m.

I'm going to get moving soon. I saw that last night's Death By Chocolate cake was from Butter Boutique. I like their stuff but there's too many flies in there. It's revolting. They need to control the flies, people get the wrong impression. I think Shanil's family Rukshi Nethicumara own it. The food is great.

12:30 p.m.

I'm completely exhausted by the 30mg of Mirtazapine. It's a poison. It's prescription only. I can't survive without my medication though. It's sad. I'm going to get moving soon. I need to work on my project.

5:30 p.m.

I was working on GOLF PAPA project. I spent a lot of time on it. I'll slowly patiently work on this. I'm having a meeting on Sunday afternoon with Mahesh at Great Western to talk further. I didn't have any time to complete my SIERRA or BRAVO-CHARLIE work with Indrajith. I think better if I work on this before week's end.

I work very fast. I work very hard. But still, despite working hard on stuff and being focussed, I also cannot do everything by myself so perfectly and on time. Planning takes a lot of hard work and attention to detail. I've been seated for hours. I need to step on it. Or go for a walk and come back.

6:15 p.m.

I had a great early dinner. It was linguine and minced mutton. It was pretty good. A little spicy, but can't complain. I ate quite a bit. █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

I called Michael Diaz, who Sohli Captain introduced. He's spoken with Ferhad Jamshed Nilgiriya, they're actively working on adding me. He claimed everyone there knew me. He was slightly annoyed. I dunno. I'm glad they're adding me as a Freemason to a lodge. It's taken a long time.

I put on the air conditioning. It's really hot.██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

I was thinking I need white bed sheets, a white duvet and pillow cases. I need a new pillow too. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

I prefer a white colour bed sheet. She painted my room pale yellow. I want it painted white. I remember that yellow wallpaper poem.

████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ But even then, I already spy on all my employees, I'll sack the team leader if he or she f***s up. Or something. ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

6:30 p.m.

██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I hate my friends, a little. I don't really. I don't really have any friends. People just pretend to be my friends. I'll never really do anything for my friends.

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I only like Valerie HY. She got me good grades in Singapore. I only see value in people, judge them based on that and keep people around if I see a future or a way they add value or colour to my life. It's pretty utilitarian. ███████████████████████████████████████████████ ███████████████████████████████

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I'm moving off and severing ties with these sorts of people. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

6:45 p.m.

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9:30 p.m.

Hehe I finished writing to Jorge on GOLF-PAPA-WHISKEY. We're waiting for 6 samples soon.

10:00 p.m.

I dunno why I get so upset. I think it's just a very traumatic past. I really dislike my family.████████████I just don't like things here. But at least, I get to help improve things. I get to change things and personify progress. Hmm, it looks like I really don't like a lot of people. But that's okay, it's good for business.

10:15 p.m.

I have to pretend to be a good person out in the open. I don't like it. I don't like brushing my teeth either, but I do it to act civilised and pretend to be a good person who brushes his teeth. I don't care. I wonder what's there for dinner again. I'm getting hungry again.

10:30 p.m.

I'm watching Boardwalk Empire. I'm a bit sad I got a pimple underneath my lip. Probably from dirty pillows. I'm glad it's not a cold sore or an STD. It's just a pimple.

I popped my 30 mg of my Mirtazapine. I need it. I had a lot of flashbacks today. I think I need it to stay cool. I'm under stress. I'm getting hungry. I want to try the footlong chicken burger or sandwich from McDonald's.

11:00 p.m.

I miss the food and people in England. I miss Tesco. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I think England was like heaven. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ █████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Black Star

Sat 25 Jan

10:30 p.m.

Exhibit 13. Pork Belly Burnt Ends

Yummy.. like wtf, why the ████ and how the ███████ ████ am I the only one who likes any good food around here?

https://youtu.be/nL82hlORY-k

🙃‼️😬😁🤭👣

I dunno how I'm not a ███ ████, but I sure as ████ want this fat ████ to be my friend and to cook for me

I want some pork belly burnt ends.

I'll buy a bbq smoker and make these and craft beer for me and my family and friends every weekend when I close my first few major deals.

G-d loves me

1 matched name linked to the Names index.