Friday the 13th Panic and Healthcare Bills Pushed Me to Burnout

March 12, 2020

Friday-the-13th dread, bad sleep, old painting memories, father-loss trauma, porn counting, and work anxiety all stacked up until the day started feeling like burnout in slow motion.

Thu 12 Mar

1:00 p.m.

Oh tomorrow's a Friday the 13th. It's going to be an unlucky day. I also missed breakfast. I had a long night. I think my coffee drinking is bad for my sleep cycle. I missed breakfast. I'm hungry.

I talked to Dimitri ████████ for 2 hours. We had an interesting chat. I disagreed with him. I don't think he should be our CEO. He's just going to cause problems and disrupt business. I can tell from his tone. I'll get rid of him, I'll say it probably wouldn't work out. He wants Seylan Bank, which should go to Cyril aiya and Rhuani miss.

1:45 p.m.

I don't know. Rhuani Rambukwelle is so sweet. I love her. She was the one who taught me my favourite hobby: oil painting. I remember I was very small and she taught me not to draw scary monsters. Hehehe she wanted me to draw nice things, so, I drew a crocodile and painted it. Hehehe hahahahaha! :) :D

I made 10 paintings or more. I think I exhibited them in Lionel Wendt art gallery. I think a few people bought my paintings, I sold my volcano painting to a stranger. My grandma bought many of my paintings. I earned like Rs 25,000 when I was less than 12. █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

I think Rhuani Rambukwelle miss is somebody I feel safe around. It's just that mother love Freddie Mercury sang about in his last song ever. I don't know. I was planning on giving her some money doing a deal with Harsha Wannigatunga at Seylan Bank. I think even Cyril, is Saroj uncle's wife's brother. So, I see them as people I grew up with and trust.

Hehehe what did she think? What was she thinking? Obviously I'll draw scary monsters. I love scary monsters and guns. I love war. I'm a boy. It's so cool. █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████, unless it's some cool fashion like leather jackets and it's a test dummie doll to blow up.

2:00 p.m.

I'm listening to I Was Born To Love You by Freddie Mercury. My favourite part is the beginning, it goes like "an AMAZING, FEELING, COMING THROUGH!!" Jesus frickin' Christ. I love that bit. I love it. Absolutely amazing. It's the best. Obviously, I'm not a homophobic person, I love the gays, they're the best. I love Freddie Mercury.

3:00 p.m.

It's sad. But that means I only did it on Monday and Thursday. I'll probably not do it for the rest of the week. Magically, when I don't G-d blesses me and my whole life is better. I succeed lol. It's my religion.

3:45 p.m.

I'm really happy that

I think the psychology of addiction is that if you gamble, let's say $200 bucks¹ and lose, you bet $400² to recover your original $200¹ and lose $600, and then you bet $1,200³ and lose $1,800, and then $2,400⁴ and lose, and then $4,800⁵ and lose and then $10,000⁶ and lose, and then $20,000⁷ and then $40,000⁸, and then $80,000⁹, and then $200,000¹⁰, $400,000¹¹ and even more than $1,000,000¹².

4:30 p.m.

Of course, I don't know or believe it "must've" been Jesus Christ. Maybe, it was just a self realisation. Maybe it was G-d who decided to save me. It's hard to tell with these religious things.

4:45 p.m.

I called Softlogic Dell Repair Centre. They've diagnosed that one of the two RAM (Random Access Memory) sticks is probably not working. Kasun, the engineer, is trying to see if he can fix it. He'll let me know on Monday because I told him I don't like Friday the 13th.

6:45 p.m.

I noticed I had written 2 emails to Harsha Wannigatunga in October 2019 and even October 2018. This guy's probably not a friendly person. He doesn't wish to respond. He's likely a Christian based on his friends and doesn't want to speak with me. Rhuani Rambukwelle has asked him and he's asked me to write to him and mention her.

I'm unsure, I think I'll either talk to his subordinates or ask Sohli Captain as he's a shareholder. I don't know, best is to write to Harsha anyway. I'll use the subordinates and also Cyril aiya as well. I'll try use Sohli Captain if possible. There's little to worry about.

I absolutely love Freemasonry. I was practising my Freemason rituals at 6:30 p.m. when I got a reminder. I just called my mum who went shopping, she forgot peanut butter and chocolates for me. It's okay, she can go tomorrow to get me.

I decided that best is to avoid using Sohli Captain, a lot of people get really upset when you call the big boss. I also only have any real bond with Sohli Captain, and not Sumal Perera, Ashok Pathirage uncle, Harry Jayawardena, Dhammika Perera or even Jit Warnakulasuriya. I think Jit and Sohli, yes, mostly Sohli. He's just truthful, he can be trusted.

7:00 p.m.

I only trust my fellow masons. I think I can only trust them at all. When people take blood oaths on all the volumes of sacred law, I just feel I can trust them at least. It's the sworn penalty of death that let's me trust people.

I can't trust anybody, except myself, and by that logic, anybody who makes blood oaths only. █████████████████████████████████ If you haven't got your word, you've got naught (Sinatra).

8:30 p.m.

I'm getting sleepy. I should get dinner and call it a night. I spoke with Kasuni ██████████████████. She's going to be our COO. I have a great feeling about her. Anyway, out of the Rs 20mn profit, we can take Rs 2mn out, and pay her Rs 200k per month, so, she can leave her current Rs 100k/ month job and work full time. It's not my first time stealing good employees.

10:45 p.m.

I'm going to go to sleep soon. I'm really sleepy. I'll watch Certified Ethical Hacker videos. I need to finish Chris Voss's book. I'm on page 20 out of 200. I think we'll likely all die, maybe not, but maybe, if Wuhan coronavirus mutates and evolves. I just want to go saying I had fun. A lot of fun.

US National Chant:

"you, ess, ayy..

You. Ess. Ayy.

You, Ess, Ayy..

YOU, ESS, AYY!

U,S,A, U. S. A.!!!

USA, USA, USA!!!!"

🇺🇸

Francis Scott Key

https://youtu.be/l44slcRv4Dg

Also, "and I'm proud to be an American" or G-d Bless the U.S.A. by Lee Greenwood was just so much better than ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Fri 13 Mar

12:15 a.m.

I'm really sleepy. .

,

12:45 a.m.

I had a few flashbacks, I'm hungry, I wish my mum bought some food. I'm starving. I want to develop this country. I hope I fall asleep.

1:00 a.m.

I looked at some videos. I saw a video on YouTube typed Mommy Knows Best re: Elon Musk's mum. So, I'll just try get some sleep.

10:15 a.m.

I spoke with Zaid ███████████ about whether he can tackle Amana Bank. I get lots of applications. I always lead people. I would've made a good military leader. I'm pretty good.

Just like David Petraeus asked his people to do push ups while waiting about, I teach people to watch Certified Ethical Hacker videos for free on YouTube to learn hacking. I ask everyone to do the same things.

8:00 p.m.

I spoke to Kasuni ██████████████████ for 3 or 5 hours about planning our business operations. I spoke to Zaid ███████████ about business, █████████████████ I recommended he try deal with Amana Bank. I just talked to Kavinath ██████████ about Mobitel. I think Shathaka ██████████ and Kavinath need to tackle SLT together.

Thilanga uncle has done some political event with Mahinda Rajapaksa and everyone, Susil and a few people. I didn't go. I had a meeting with Kasuni. I work really hard. Plus, I'm the only one who just pays people and treats employees properly, obviously, now everyone wants to work at Cyberspace Command.

9:30 p.m.

█████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ██████████████████████████ ██████████████████████████ I remember too many bad things. I think I should be okay. I'm doing well.

10:00 p.m.

I ordered some McDonald's food. I got the triple cheeseburger medium meal with a coke. I mean, if the world was to come to an end tomorrow, this will be my choice of a last supper, a final meal for somebody on death row. G-d bless McDonald's for making a food fitting for a king available to the lowliest family to enjoy.

I don'tbelievekarmaI'll never be reincarnated as a cow. Jesus died for my sins. It's so tasty because it's what G-d intended. I love beef. You anyway have to kill to get any source of food, plants too, you kill plants or insects. It's the way the world is.

11:15 p.m.

Omg I saw my sister' She went and paid for my McDonald's on my behalf so I didn't have to go downstairs in my boxers. I like my sister's friends. My sister Lehara asked me not to ask her friends to do stuff for me hehe.

I don't know. █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I'm going to go to sleep. I'm sleepy.

8 matched names linked to the Names index.