Cover of Flashbacks

Flashbacks

How I Survived My Waking Nightmares

by Lehan Edirisinghe

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The world locked down. His mind never did.

In 2020, Lehan Edirisinghe was living with flashbacks, medication, family pressure, disrupted sleep, and fear. At the same time, he was trying to turn Cyberspace Command into a real company.

Across 416,964 words, Flashbacks preserves the year exactly as it happened: the crises, business plans, political arguments, family conflict, ordinary pleasures, and repeated decision to continue.

Read the year a founder tried to build a company while surviving his own mind.

Length416,964 words
FormatFull Access
GenreAutobiographical diary
PublisherAngryPages Inc
LanguageEnglish
AvailabilityIn preparation

What happens in 2020

2020 is more than a lockdown diary. It is the year Lehan tries to build Cyberspace Command while his health, family life, beliefs, and sense of safety repeatedly destabilize around him. The record moves between enormous plans and intensely private moments without cleaning up the contradictions afterward.

Waking nightmares Flashbacks, disrupted sleep, low weight, fear, and periods of severe mental strain shape the year. Some days are spent pursuing major business plans; others are spent rebuilding enough stability to continue.
Building Cyberspace Command Lehan recruits people, pursues banking and cybersecurity deals, approaches investors, redesigns the company, and considers expansion into the United States and Singapore. The ambition reaches far beyond the company’s early resources, forcing constant reinvention.
Lockdown inside the house Covid moves from distant news to a force closing borders, businesses, and ordinary life. Confinement intensifies family pressure and removes many of the remaining ways to escape the private crisis inside the house.
Family, grief, and memory His mother, relatives, money, control, dependence, and unresolved family history repeatedly enter the record. Memories of his father return through songs, watches, places, family stories, and lingering questions about his death.
Politics, belief, and contradiction Trump, Sri Lanka, Iran, China, religion, race, war, policing, and power are argued over as events unfold. The diary preserves conviction, argument, reconsideration, and changing judgments without pretending the year arrived with finished answers.
The ordinary life around the crisis Food, films, music, television, desire, habits, jokes, games, dreams, and business ideas continue beside the struggle to survive. These ordinary pleasures and distractions prevent the book from becoming only a record of illness or crisis.

Why read Flashbacks?

Because it was written before survival was secure.

It is not a polished memoir, a business guide, or a retrospective victory speech. It is the raw daily record of a founder under pressure trying to impose order on the year—and build something larger than the life around him.

The documentation habit that runs through these pages later helps shape AngryPages. In 2020, the company being built is Cyberspace Command.

Flashbacks

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Lehan Edirisinghe

Meet the author

Lehan Edirisinghe is the founder and publisher of AngryPages. Born into a famous Sri Lankan family with a sports betting duopoly: betss.com, and educated at the University of Leicester (England) and Singapore University of Social Sciences in business, he kept this private diary through trauma recovery, family drama, Sri Lanka’s economic collapse, the difficulty of winning business deals, musings of a "first world Sri Lanka" fantasy, and the building of AngryPages Inc. The diary is the insider record that became the California publisher.

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